Are the posted questions getting worse?

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Are the posted questions getting worse?

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SQLRNNR SSC Guru Points: 281334 More actions · Answer 1

ChrisM@Work (8/23/2012)
Brandie Tarvin (8/23/2012)
... Tootsie Rolls...
Are we back on Clinton??

Cigars

Jason...AKA CirqueDeSQLeil
_______________________________________________
I have given a name to my pain...MCM SQL Server, MVP
SQL RNNR
Posting Performance Based Questions - Gail Shaw[/url]
Learn Extended Events

Steve Jones - SSC Editor SSC Guru Points: 736101 More actions · Answer 2

ChrisM@Work (8/23/2012)
Brandie Tarvin (8/23/2012)
... Tootsie Rolls...
Are we back on Clinton??

That was cigars.

Jeff Moden SSC Guru Points: 1004299 More actions · Answer 3

dwain.c (8/22/2012)
An effort which must now be delayed I must add because some bonehead deleted a bunch of active transactions from a database I support and now I must try to figure out how to restore them.
Grrr! :angry:

BWAAA-HAAAAA!!!! I feel your pain! And people wonder why my response to the question of "Can I get write access to the database" is an emphatic "NO!" 😀

--Jeff Moden

RBAR is pronounced "ree-bar" and is a "Modenism" for Row-By-Agonizing-Row.
First step towards the paradigm shift of writing Set Based code:
________Stop thinking about what you want to do to a ROW... think, instead, of what you want to do to a COLUMN.

Change is inevitable... Change for the better is not.

Helpful Links:
How to post code problems
How to Post Performance Problems
Create a Tally Function (fnTally)

Jeff Moden SSC Guru Points: 1004299 More actions · Answer 4

GilaMonster (8/23/2012)
Data archiving. Can't use partition swaps because it's standard edition.

Have you considered partitioned views?

--Jeff Moden

RBAR is pronounced "ree-bar" and is a "Modenism" for Row-By-Agonizing-Row.
First step towards the paradigm shift of writing Set Based code:
________Stop thinking about what you want to do to a ROW... think, instead, of what you want to do to a COLUMN.

Change is inevitable... Change for the better is not.

Helpful Links:
How to post code problems
How to Post Performance Problems
Create a Tally Function (fnTally)

Jeff Moden SSC Guru Points: 1004299 More actions · Answer 5

ChrisM@Work (8/23/2012)
Brandie Tarvin (8/23/2012)
... Tootsie Rolls...
Are we back on Clinton??

It Depends... are you wearing a blue dress? :-):-D:-P:hehe:

--Jeff Moden

RBAR is pronounced "ree-bar" and is a "Modenism" for Row-By-Agonizing-Row.
First step towards the paradigm shift of writing Set Based code:
________Stop thinking about what you want to do to a ROW... think, instead, of what you want to do to a COLUMN.

Change is inevitable... Change for the better is not.

Helpful Links:
How to post code problems
How to Post Performance Problems
Create a Tally Function (fnTally)

Gail Shaw SSC Guru Points: 1004504 More actions · Answer 6

Jeff Moden (8/23/2012)
GilaMonster (8/23/2012)
Data archiving. Can't use partition swaps because it's standard edition.
Have you considered partitioned views?

Create a new table every month, alter the view to include that and exclude the oldest month's table? Eeep, no.

Besides, I'm also not allowed to do such a thing because part of their app does schema mods. It wouldn't break with a partitioned table (because that still looks like a table to any tool that doesn't check the location the object is created), but it would if I replaced a view with a table.

Gail Shaw
Microsoft Certified Master: SQL Server, MVP, M.Sc (Comp Sci)
SQL In The Wild: Discussions on DB performance with occasional diversions into recoverability

We walk in the dark places no others will enter
We stand on the bridge and no one may pass

Fal Hall of Fame Points: 3143 More actions · Answer 7

I need to deal with a critical issue, but unfortunately fixing it keeps getting bumped. I was wondering what metaphors Threadizens might have to describe just how low the priority of a project can go.

So far I have two. "Priority is so low..."

1) ...that deep sea creatures stare in fascination at the strange blob that sometimes rises out of the deepest, darkest crevasse in the very bottom of the ocean

2) ...that the project is lodged in the drainage hole in the lowest basement of hell

Any others??

Steve.

ChrisM@Work SSC Guru Points: 186127 More actions · Answer 8

Jeff Moden (8/23/2012)
ChrisM@Work (8/23/2012)
Brandie Tarvin (8/23/2012)
... Tootsie Rolls...
Are we back on Clinton??
It Depends... are you wearing a blue dress? :-):-D:-P:hehe:

That blue dress? No, it's still in the wash. Besides, you didn't call. :w00t::-P:-D

^{“Write the query the simplest way. If through testing it becomes clear that the performance is inadequate, consider alternative query forms.” - Gail Shaw}

For fast, accurate and documented assistance in answering your questions, please read this article.
Understanding and using APPLY, (I) and (II) Paul White
Hidden RBAR: Triangular Joins / The "Numbers" or "Tally" Table: What it is and how it replaces a loop Jeff Moden

Grant Fritchey SSC Guru Points: 398875 More actions · Answer 9

Jeff Moden (8/23/2012)
ChrisM@Work (8/23/2012)
Brandie Tarvin (8/23/2012)
... Tootsie Rolls...
Are we back on Clinton??
It Depends... are you wearing a blue dress? :-):-D:-P:hehe:

I thought we had an agreement. You wear the dress. I just wear the skirt.

"The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood"
- Theodore Roosevelt

Author of:
SQL Server Execution Plans
SQL Server Query Performance Tuning

Brandie Tarvin SSC Guru Points: 173045 More actions · Answer 10

Fal (8/24/2012)
I need to deal with a critical issue, but unfortunately fixing it keeps getting bumped. I was wondering what metaphors Threadizens might have to describe just how low the priority of a project can go.
So far I have two. "Priority is so low..."
1) ...that deep sea creatures stare in fascination at the strange blob that sometimes rises out of the deepest, darkest crevasse in the very bottom of the ocean
2) ...that the project is lodged in the drainage hole in the lowest basement of hell

3) ...that Curiosity couldn't find it if it was the biggest object on Mars.

4) ...that not even the strongest of black holes could suck it out of its current resting place.

Brandie Tarvin, MCITP Database AdministratorLiveJournal Blog: http://brandietarvin.livejournal.com/[/url]On LinkedIn!, Google+, and Twitter.Freelance Writer: ShadowrunLatchkeys: Nevermore, Latchkeys: The Bootleg War, and Latchkeys: Roscoes in the Night are now available on Nook and Kindle.

Brandie Tarvin SSC Guru Points: 173045 More actions · Answer 11

Grant Fritchey (8/24/2012)
Jeff Moden (8/23/2012)
ChrisM@Work (8/23/2012)
Brandie Tarvin (8/23/2012)
... Tootsie Rolls...
Are we back on Clinton??
It Depends... are you wearing a blue dress? :-):-D:-P:hehe:
I thought we had an agreement. You wear the dress. I just wear the skirt.

Wait. Who's wearing the pants?

Brandie Tarvin, MCITP Database AdministratorLiveJournal Blog: http://brandietarvin.livejournal.com/[/url]On LinkedIn!, Google+, and Twitter.Freelance Writer: ShadowrunLatchkeys: Nevermore, Latchkeys: The Bootleg War, and Latchkeys: Roscoes in the Night are now available on Nook and Kindle.

Brandie Tarvin SSC Guru Points: 173045 More actions · Answer 12

In honor of SQL Saturdays, I'm going to start blogging SQL stuff on Saturday. @=) Starting tomorrow, in fact. Since LJ doesn't like SQL Code, most of my blogging will be on http://www.brandietarvin.com/database-administration/dba-blog/[/url], copied over to LJ only when there is no code involved (like tomorrow). Please ignore my dust as I get my new website whipped into shape.

I hope you enjoy it.

Brandie Tarvin, MCITP Database AdministratorLiveJournal Blog: http://brandietarvin.livejournal.com/[/url]On LinkedIn!, Google+, and Twitter.Freelance Writer: ShadowrunLatchkeys: Nevermore, Latchkeys: The Bootleg War, and Latchkeys: Roscoes in the Night are now available on Nook and Kindle.

Steve Thompson-454462 SSCrazy Points: 2624 More actions · Answer 13

Fal (8/24/2012)
I need to deal with a critical issue, but unfortunately fixing it keeps getting bumped. I was wondering what metaphors Threadizens might have to describe just how low the priority of a project can go.
So far I have two. "Priority is so low..."
1) ...that deep sea creatures stare in fascination at the strange blob that sometimes rises out of the deepest, darkest crevasse in the very bottom of the ocean
2) ...that the project is lodged in the drainage hole in the lowest basement of hell
Any others??
Steve.

... that it makes Barry White sound like a dog whistle

Jeff Moden SSC Guru Points: 1004299 More actions · Answer 14

Brandie Tarvin (8/24/2012)
Grant Fritchey (8/24/2012)
Jeff Moden (8/23/2012)
ChrisM@Work (8/23/2012)
Brandie Tarvin (8/23/2012)
... Tootsie Rolls...
Are we back on Clinton??
It Depends... are you wearing a blue dress? :-):-D:-P:hehe:
I thought we had an agreement. You wear the dress. I just wear the skirt.
Wait. Who's wearing the pants?

I am... blue jeans under the blue dress. 😛

--Jeff Moden

RBAR is pronounced "ree-bar" and is a "Modenism" for Row-By-Agonizing-Row.
First step towards the paradigm shift of writing Set Based code:
________Stop thinking about what you want to do to a ROW... think, instead, of what you want to do to a COLUMN.

Change is inevitable... Change for the better is not.

Helpful Links:
How to post code problems
How to Post Performance Problems
Create a Tally Function (fnTally)

Jeff Moden SSC Guru Points: 1004299 More actions · Answer 15

Brandie Tarvin (8/24/2012)
Fal (8/24/2012)
I need to deal with a critical issue, but unfortunately fixing it keeps getting bumped. I was wondering what metaphors Threadizens might have to describe just how low the priority of a project can go.
So far I have two. "Priority is so low..."
1) ...that deep sea creatures stare in fascination at the strange blob that sometimes rises out of the deepest, darkest crevasse in the very bottom of the ocean
2) ...that the project is lodged in the drainage hole in the lowest basement of hell
3) ...that Curiosity couldn't find it if it was the biggest object on Mars.
4) ...that not even the strongest of black holes could suck it out of its current resting place.

5. ... Future highest priority because it had been ignored for so long.

--Jeff Moden

RBAR is pronounced "ree-bar" and is a "Modenism" for Row-By-Agonizing-Row.
First step towards the paradigm shift of writing Set Based code:
________Stop thinking about what you want to do to a ROW... think, instead, of what you want to do to a COLUMN.

Change is inevitable... Change for the better is not.

Helpful Links:
How to post code problems
How to Post Performance Problems
Create a Tally Function (fnTally)