Are the posted questions getting worse?

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Are the posted questions getting worse?

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Fal Hall of Fame Points: 3143 More actions · Answer 1

Chad Crawford (10/10/2011)
Evil Kraig F (10/10/2011)
Sean Lange (10/10/2011)
Craig Farrell
Liverwurst always comes to worst....
Yeah, I'm a bit loopy today. :hehe:
Today??? 😛
Hmmmmm.....
WHILE @TargetStatus = 'Conscious'
BEGIN
EXEC spr_BeatWithSalami @Target = 'Sean'
SET @TargetStatus = (SELECT AwakeStat FROM tblTargets WHERE fname = 'Sean')
IF @TargetStatus = 'Unconscious'
BEGIN
EXEC spr_DumpBucketOfWaterOnHead @Target = 'Sean'
SET @TargetStatus = 'Conscious'
END
END
😀
Alright guys, lets help Craig get out of his loop-e-ness by coming up with a set-based solution. Craig, help us help you - can you post the DDL for the procs listed here?
:-P:-P:-P:-P:-P:-P:-P

Not sure if that is possible. One definition of set logic might be "all the work is done at once" and hence there is an implied ending condition. As you can see from Craig's code there is no ending condition. Hence, a set-based solution would need to prove the theory of perpetual motion, and this would violate the laws of physics.

QED: there is nothing that can be done for Craig's loopiness without destroying the universe.

But wait! There is a logic bug in Craig's code: "SELECT AwakeStat FROM tblTargets WHERE fname = 'Sean'" might return NULL.

Steve.

Evil Kraig F SSC Guru Points: 100851 More actions · Answer 2

Fal (10/10/2011)
But wait! There is a logic bug in Craig's code: "SELECT AwakeStat FROM tblTargets WHERE fname = 'Sean'" might return NULL.

Oh, yeah, that one. That's in case the entry is moved in the EF mechanism from 'tblTargets' to 'tblHasBiggerGun' or 'tblSavedByPrettyWoman'. I left out the try/catch wrapper. In catch, there's an execution of spr_RunLikeHell that makes sure we're good to go. 😉

I always did like Ray Bradbury's take on Perpetual Motion:

“It's perpetual motion; the thing man wanted to invent but never did. . . . It's a mystery. . . . Its real beauty is that it destroys responsibility and consequences . . . clean, quick, sure; nothing to rot later. Antibiotic, aesthetic, practical.”
-- Fahrenheit 451, Ray Bradbury

- Craig Farrell

Never stop learning, even if it hurts. Ego bruises are practically mandatory as you learn unless you've never risked enough to make a mistake.

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Fal Hall of Fame Points: 3143 More actions · Answer 3

Evil Kraig F (10/10/2011)
In catch, there's an execution of spr_RunLikeHell...

Heh. That sounds like a good name for an RBAR sproc if ever I saw one.

Edit: Hey, I'll add my own to the RBAR sproc list: spr_AbandonHopeAllYeWhoRunThisCode

Steve.

Paul White SSC Guru Points: 150467 More actions · Answer 4

Well I totally failed to remember to take a photo of a really dressed-up SA fan on Sunday, but here's one of a really nice guy we met on the train on the way down to the game...

Paul White
SQLPerformance.com
SQLkiwi blog
@SQL_Kiwi

Kiara SSCarpal Tunnel Points: 4185 More actions · Answer 5

Evil Kraig F (10/10/2011)
Chad Crawford (10/10/2011)
Alright guys, lets help Craig get out of his loop-e-ness by coming up with a set-based solution. Craig, help us help you - can you post the DDL for the procs listed here?
:-P:-P:-P:-P:-P:-P:-P
Hell no, I'm highly embarassed by it. I needed to use xp_cmdshell because I was too lazy to look into some convoluted alternates. :w00t: All the tables are non-ISO standard naming, too. It's just bad.
That and the data's very dirty. Do you know hard it is to CLEAN a salami?! Especially when all your water's going on heads! GIGO man... gigo.... They ain't pretty.
... okay, I'll stop now. Probably. 😉

Aww.... I was just about to jump on the non-ISO standard naming, too...

I guess I'll just go sit over here, drink my coffee, and sulk about not being at PASS.

-Ki

Kiara SSCarpal Tunnel Points: 4185 More actions · Answer 6

Fal (10/10/2011)
But wait! There is a logic bug in Craig's code: "SELECT AwakeStat FROM tblTargets WHERE fname = 'Sean'" might return NULL.

Yeah. Right. I'll just step away from the keyboard now and go back to figuring out why this server is misbehaving... 😎

-Ki

Sean Lange SSC Guru Points: 286590 More actions · Answer 7

Kiara (10/11/2011)
Fal (10/10/2011)
But wait! There is a logic bug in Craig's code: "SELECT AwakeStat FROM tblTargets WHERE fname = 'Sean'" might return NULL.
<inserts copy/paste argument from multiple other threads on the use of NULL, its definition as an unknown state, how it is actually implemented in SQL Server by version, whether or not tblTargets should have AwakeStat defined as NOT NULL and whether acceptable values for AwakeStat should include a value for an unknown state, and whether or not the unknown state in which Sean might be is the same as the unknown state in which another fname in the table might be...>
Yeah. Right. I'll just step away from the keyboard now and go back to figuring out why this server is misbehaving... 😎

We can just change it to a count so we don't have to worry about nulls.

select count(*) from tblTargets WHERE fname = 'Sean' and AwakeStat <> 'BeatenIntoSubmissionBySalami'

(0 row(s) affected)

_______________________________________________________________

Need help? Help us help you.

Read the article at http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/Best+Practices/61537/ for best practices on asking questions.

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Cross Tabs and Pivots, Part 1 – Converting Rows to Columns - http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/T-SQL/63681/
Cross Tabs and Pivots, Part 2 - Dynamic Cross Tabs - http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/Crosstab/65048/
Understanding and Using APPLY (Part 1) - http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/APPLY/69953/
Understanding and Using APPLY (Part 2) - http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/APPLY/69954/

Ninja's_RGR'us SSC Guru Points: 294069 More actions · Answer 8

Sean Lange (10/11/2011)
Kiara (10/11/2011)
Fal (10/10/2011)
But wait! There is a logic bug in Craig's code: "SELECT AwakeStat FROM tblTargets WHERE fname = 'Sean'" might return NULL.
<inserts copy/paste argument from multiple other threads on the use of NULL, its definition as an unknown state, how it is actually implemented in SQL Server by version, whether or not tblTargets should have AwakeStat defined as NOT NULL and whether acceptable values for AwakeStat should include a value for an unknown state, and whether or not the unknown state in which Sean might be is the same as the unknown state in which another fname in the table might be...>
Yeah. Right. I'll just step away from the keyboard now and go back to figuring out why this server is misbehaving... 😎
We can just change it to a count so we don't have to worry about nulls.
select count(*) from tblTargets WHERE fname = 'Sean' and AwakeStat <> 'BeatenIntoSubmissionBySalami'
(0 row(s) affected)

You see right away that you lied about this. The actual result is :

(1 row(s) affected) with a count.

So I'll go ahead and assume at least 1 in that count!

Sean Lange SSC Guru Points: 286590 More actions · Answer 9

Ninja's_RGR'us (10/11/2011)
Sean Lange (10/11/2011)
Kiara (10/11/2011)
Fal (10/10/2011)
But wait! There is a logic bug in Craig's code: "SELECT AwakeStat FROM tblTargets WHERE fname = 'Sean'" might return NULL.
<inserts copy/paste argument from multiple other threads on the use of NULL, its definition as an unknown state, how it is actually implemented in SQL Server by version, whether or not tblTargets should have AwakeStat defined as NOT NULL and whether acceptable values for AwakeStat should include a value for an unknown state, and whether or not the unknown state in which Sean might be is the same as the unknown state in which another fname in the table might be...>
Yeah. Right. I'll just step away from the keyboard now and go back to figuring out why this server is misbehaving... 😎
We can just change it to a count so we don't have to worry about nulls.
select count(*) from tblTargets WHERE fname = 'Sean' and AwakeStat <> 'BeatenIntoSubmissionBySalami'
You see right away that you lied about this. The actual result is :
(1 row(s) affected) with a count.
So I'll go ahead and assume at least 1 in that count!
(0 row(s) affected)

Further proof that the salami beat me into a place of complete fogginess and disorientation. 😉

_______________________________________________________________

Need help? Help us help you.

Read the article at http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/Best+Practices/61537/ for best practices on asking questions.

Need to split a string? Try Jeff Modens splitter http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/Tally+Table/72993/.

Cross Tabs and Pivots, Part 1 – Converting Rows to Columns - http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/T-SQL/63681/
Cross Tabs and Pivots, Part 2 - Dynamic Cross Tabs - http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/Crosstab/65048/
Understanding and Using APPLY (Part 1) - http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/APPLY/69953/
Understanding and Using APPLY (Part 2) - http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/APPLY/69954/

SQLRNNR SSC Guru Points: 281334 More actions · Answer 10

Die thread Die:pinch:

Jason...AKA CirqueDeSQLeil
_______________________________________________
I have given a name to my pain...MCM SQL Server, MVP
SQL RNNR
Posting Performance Based Questions - Gail Shaw[/url]
Learn Extended Events

Sioban Krzywicki One Orange Chip Points: 27770 More actions · Answer 11

Here's something fun for those of us unlucky enough to not be at PASS.

--------------------------------------
When you encounter a problem, if the solution isn't readily evident go back to the start and check your assumptions.
--------------------------------------
It’s unpleasantly like being drunk.
What’s so unpleasant about being drunk?
You ask a glass of water. -- Douglas Adams

SQLRNNR SSC Guru Points: 281334 More actions · Answer 12

Stefan Krzywicki (10/11/2011)
Here's something fun for those of us unlucky enough to not be at PASS.

Sweet

Jason...AKA CirqueDeSQLeil
_______________________________________________
I have given a name to my pain...MCM SQL Server, MVP
SQL RNNR
Posting Performance Based Questions - Gail Shaw[/url]
Learn Extended Events

Gatekeeper SSCommitted Points: 1633 More actions · Answer 13

Stefan Krzywicki (10/11/2011)
Here's something fun for those of us unlucky enough to not be at PASS.

Nice.

/* Anything is possible but is it worth it? */

Chad Crawford SSChampion Points: 11610 More actions · Answer 14

Well, I found Gail's book at the PASS Bookstore, but they won't let me buy it. 🙁

Some wild story about the bookstore not opening for another 15 minutes. What a load of cursors.

WayneS SSC Guru Points: 95460 More actions · Answer 15

Stefan Krzywicki (10/10/2011)
Roy Ernest (10/10/2011)
Grant started and I am scared of heckling him... He looks scary.
He's not scary! If worse comes to worse, buy him a beer after and all will be fine.

Dang, what I good idea. I should have brought them some brews to start the day off! 🙂

They were truly awesome. I loved how their synergy flowed between them... you wouldn't believe that they had not practiced this precon together.

Wayne
Microsoft Certified Master: SQL Server 2008
Author - SQL Server T-SQL Recipes

If you can't explain to another person how the code that you're copying from the internet works, then DON'T USE IT on a production system! After all, you will be the one supporting it!

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