October 10, 2011 at 12:38 pm
GSquared (10/10/2011)
Grant Fritchey (10/10/2011)
GSquared (10/10/2011)
GilaMonster (10/10/2011)
Be nice.YOU'VE BEEN WARNED!!!
😀 😛 😛 😀
She's an ED-9000.... You have 15 seconds to comply... 10 seconds... 5 seconds...
The computer is my friend.
The computer wants me to be happy.
If I'm not happy, I'm not obeying the computer.
Disobedience is treason, punishable by death.
Right? 😛
(Crossing genres as well as subject, but the countdown to compliance just got that bit stuck in my head.)
Ed is my computer
Ed is my friend
Ed is for work
Ed is for fun
Jason...AKA CirqueDeSQLeil
_______________________________________________
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SQL RNNR
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October 10, 2011 at 12:44 pm
Grant Fritchey (10/10/2011)
GSquared (10/10/2011)
Grant Fritchey (10/10/2011)
GSquared (10/10/2011)
GilaMonster (10/10/2011)
Be nice.YOU'VE BEEN WARNED!!!
😀 😛 😛 😀
She's an ED-9000.... You have 15 seconds to comply... 10 seconds... 5 seconds...
The computer is my friend.
The computer wants me to be happy.
If I'm not happy, I'm not obeying the computer.
Disobedience is treason, punishable by death.
Right? 😛
(Crossing genres as well as subject, but the countdown to compliance just got that bit stuck in my head.)
Excellent. Paranoia. Love it.
Paranoia? Nah, just been taken over by The Thread years ago.
- Gus "GSquared", RSVP, OODA, MAP, NMVP, FAQ, SAT, SQL, DNA, RNA, UOI, IOU, AM, PM, AD, BC, BCE, USA, UN, CF, ROFL, LOL, ETC
Property of The Thread
"Nobody knows the age of the human race, but everyone agrees it's old enough to know better." - Anon
October 10, 2011 at 2:05 pm
Grant started and I am scared of heckling him... He looks scary.
-Roy
October 10, 2011 at 2:07 pm
Roy Ernest (10/10/2011)
Grant started and I am scared of heckling him... He looks scary.
He's not scary! If worse comes to worse, buy him a beer after and all will be fine.
--------------------------------------
When you encounter a problem, if the solution isn't readily evident go back to the start and check your assumptions.
--------------------------------------
It’s unpleasantly like being drunk.
What’s so unpleasant about being drunk?
You ask a glass of water. -- Douglas Adams
October 10, 2011 at 2:12 pm
Stefan Krzywicki (10/10/2011)
Roy Ernest (10/10/2011)
Grant started and I am scared of heckling him... He looks scary.He's not scary! If worse comes to worse, buy him a beer after and all will be fine.
I'd recommend 3! 😀
Never stop learning, even if it hurts. Ego bruises are practically mandatory as you learn unless you've never risked enough to make a mistake.
For better assistance in answering your questions[/url] | Forum Netiquette
For index/tuning help, follow these directions.[/url] |Tally Tables[/url]
Twitter: @AnyWayDBA
October 10, 2011 at 2:14 pm
Stefan Krzywicki (10/10/2011)
Roy Ernest (10/10/2011)
Grant started and I am scared of heckling him... He looks scary.He's not scary! If worse comes to worse, buy him a beer after and all will be fine.
We're DBAs! We don't wait for "worse comes to worse" (by the way, it's supposed to be "worse comes to worst")!
Buy him beers to prevent the problem before it becomes an issue!
(Okay Grant, you owe me one now. 🙂 )
- Gus "GSquared", RSVP, OODA, MAP, NMVP, FAQ, SAT, SQL, DNA, RNA, UOI, IOU, AM, PM, AD, BC, BCE, USA, UN, CF, ROFL, LOL, ETC
Property of The Thread
"Nobody knows the age of the human race, but everyone agrees it's old enough to know better." - Anon
October 10, 2011 at 2:16 pm
GSquared (10/10/2011)
Stefan Krzywicki (10/10/2011)
Roy Ernest (10/10/2011)
Grant started and I am scared of heckling him... He looks scary.He's not scary! If worse comes to worse, buy him a beer after and all will be fine.
We're DBAs! We don't wait for "worse comes to worse" (by the way, it's supposed to be "worse comes to worst")!
Buy him beers to prevent the problem before it becomes an issue!
(Okay Grant, you owe me one now. 🙂 )
Liverwurst always comes to worst....
Yeah, I'm a bit loopy today. :hehe:
Never stop learning, even if it hurts. Ego bruises are practically mandatory as you learn unless you've never risked enough to make a mistake.
For better assistance in answering your questions[/url] | Forum Netiquette
For index/tuning help, follow these directions.[/url] |Tally Tables[/url]
Twitter: @AnyWayDBA
October 10, 2011 at 2:27 pm
GSquared (10/10/2011)
Stefan Krzywicki (10/10/2011)
Roy Ernest (10/10/2011)
Grant started and I am scared of heckling him... He looks scary.He's not scary! If worse comes to worse, buy him a beer after and all will be fine.
We're DBAs! We don't wait for "worse comes to worse" (by the way, it's supposed to be "worse comes to worst")!
Buy him beers to prevent the problem before it becomes an issue!
(Okay Grant, you owe me one now. 🙂 )
I was going to suggest buying Grant beers no matter what, but figured others would jump on that bandwagon.
--------------------------------------
When you encounter a problem, if the solution isn't readily evident go back to the start and check your assumptions.
--------------------------------------
It’s unpleasantly like being drunk.
What’s so unpleasant about being drunk?
You ask a glass of water. -- Douglas Adams
October 10, 2011 at 2:29 pm
Evil Kraig F (10/10/2011)
GSquared (10/10/2011)
Stefan Krzywicki (10/10/2011)
Roy Ernest (10/10/2011)
Grant started and I am scared of heckling him... He looks scary.He's not scary! If worse comes to worse, buy him a beer after and all will be fine.
We're DBAs! We don't wait for "worse comes to worse" (by the way, it's supposed to be "worse comes to worst")!
Buy him beers to prevent the problem before it becomes an issue!
(Okay Grant, you owe me one now. 🙂 )
Liverwurst always comes to worst....
Yeah, I'm a bit loopy today. :hehe:
Today??? 😛
_______________________________________________________________
Need help? Help us help you.
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Cross Tabs and Pivots, Part 1 – Converting Rows to Columns - http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/T-SQL/63681/
Cross Tabs and Pivots, Part 2 - Dynamic Cross Tabs - http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/Crosstab/65048/
Understanding and Using APPLY (Part 1) - http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/APPLY/69953/
Understanding and Using APPLY (Part 2) - http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/APPLY/69954/
October 10, 2011 at 2:54 pm
Sean Lange (10/10/2011)
Craig Farrell
Liverwurst always comes to worst....Yeah, I'm a bit loopy today. :hehe:
Today??? 😛
Hmmmmm.....
WHILE @TargetStatus = 'Conscious'
BEGIN
EXEC spr_BeatWithSalami @Target = 'Sean'
SET @TargetStatus = (SELECT AwakeStat FROM tblTargets WHERE fname = 'Sean')
IF @TargetStatus = 'Unconscious'
BEGIN
EXEC spr_DumpBucketOfWaterOnHead @Target = 'Sean'
SET @TargetStatus = 'Conscious'
END
END
😀
Never stop learning, even if it hurts. Ego bruises are practically mandatory as you learn unless you've never risked enough to make a mistake.
For better assistance in answering your questions[/url] | Forum Netiquette
For index/tuning help, follow these directions.[/url] |Tally Tables[/url]
Twitter: @AnyWayDBA
October 10, 2011 at 3:00 pm
Evil Kraig F (10/10/2011)
Sean Lange (10/10/2011)
Craig Farrell
Liverwurst always comes to worst....Yeah, I'm a bit loopy today. :hehe:
Today??? 😛
Hmmmmm.....
WHILE @TargetStatus = 'Conscious'BEGIN
EXEC spr_BeatWithSalami @Target = 'Sean'
SET @TargetStatus = (SELECT AwakeStat FROM tblTargets WHERE fname = 'Sean')
IF @TargetStatus = 'Unconscious'
BEGIN
EXEC spr_DumpBucketOfWaterOnHead @Target = 'Sean'
SET @TargetStatus = 'Conscious'
END
END
😀
Nice!!! Of course your general loopiness quality is one your best qualities. And yes, this is the pot calling the kettle....
_______________________________________________________________
Need help? Help us help you.
Read the article at http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/Best+Practices/61537/ for best practices on asking questions.
Need to split a string? Try Jeff Modens splitter http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/Tally+Table/72993/.
Cross Tabs and Pivots, Part 1 – Converting Rows to Columns - http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/T-SQL/63681/
Cross Tabs and Pivots, Part 2 - Dynamic Cross Tabs - http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/Crosstab/65048/
Understanding and Using APPLY (Part 1) - http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/APPLY/69953/
Understanding and Using APPLY (Part 2) - http://www.sqlservercentral.com/articles/APPLY/69954/
October 10, 2011 at 3:11 pm
Evil Kraig F (10/10/2011)
Sean Lange (10/10/2011)
Craig Farrell
Liverwurst always comes to worst....Yeah, I'm a bit loopy today. :hehe:
Today??? 😛
Hmmmmm.....
WHILE @TargetStatus = 'Conscious'BEGIN
EXEC spr_BeatWithSalami @Target = 'Sean'
SET @TargetStatus = (SELECT AwakeStat FROM tblTargets WHERE fname = 'Sean')
IF @TargetStatus = 'Unconscious'
BEGIN
EXEC spr_DumpBucketOfWaterOnHead @Target = 'Sean'
SET @TargetStatus = 'Conscious'
END
END
😀
Alright guys, lets help Craig get out of his loop-e-ness by coming up with a set-based solution. Craig, help us help you - can you post the DDL for the procs listed here?
:-P:-P:-P:-P:-P:-P:-P
October 10, 2011 at 3:22 pm
GSquared (10/10/2011)
Stefan Krzywicki (10/10/2011)
Roy Ernest (10/10/2011)
Grant started and I am scared of heckling him... He looks scary.He's not scary! If worse comes to worse, buy him a beer after and all will be fine.
We're DBAs! We don't wait for "worse comes to worse" (by the way, it's supposed to be "worse comes to worst")!
Buy him beers to prevent the problem before it becomes an issue!
(Okay Grant, you owe me one now. 🙂 )
I think I owe you a couple. You know I'm good for it.
"The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood"
- Theodore Roosevelt
Author of:
SQL Server Execution Plans
SQL Server Query Performance Tuning
October 10, 2011 at 3:33 pm
Chad Crawford (10/10/2011)
Alright guys, lets help Craig get out of his loop-e-ness by coming up with a set-based solution. Craig, help us help you - can you post the DDL for the procs listed here?:-P:-P:-P:-P:-P:-P:-P
Hell no, I'm highly embarassed by it. I needed to use xp_cmdshell because I was too lazy to look into some convoluted alternates. :w00t: All the tables are non-ISO standard naming, too. It's just bad.
That and the data's very dirty. Do you know hard it is to CLEAN a salami?! Especially when all your water's going on heads! GIGO man... gigo.... They ain't pretty.
... okay, I'll stop now. Probably. 😉
Never stop learning, even if it hurts. Ego bruises are practically mandatory as you learn unless you've never risked enough to make a mistake.
For better assistance in answering your questions[/url] | Forum Netiquette
For index/tuning help, follow these directions.[/url] |Tally Tables[/url]
Twitter: @AnyWayDBA
October 10, 2011 at 3:39 pm
Sean Lange (10/10/2011)
Nice!!! Of course your general loopiness quality is one your best qualities. And yes, this is the pot calling the kettle....
<---- I have no idea what you're talking about...
Never stop learning, even if it hurts. Ego bruises are practically mandatory as you learn unless you've never risked enough to make a mistake.
For better assistance in answering your questions[/url] | Forum Netiquette
For index/tuning help, follow these directions.[/url] |Tally Tables[/url]
Twitter: @AnyWayDBA
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