Are the posted questions getting worse?

  • Grant Fritchey (3/11/2011)


    Stefan Krzywicki (3/11/2011)


    Grant Fritchey (3/11/2011)


    GSquared (3/11/2011)


    GilaMonster (3/11/2011)


    I signed off two official design documents back at the bank as "Database Overlord". No one commented.

    I, for one, welcome our new reptilian overlords ....

    (Now I can't remember where I first ran into that.)

    It's from the Simpsons. Kent Brockman keeps getting passed fake news announcements that something or other has taken over the world. "I, for one, welcome our new robot overlords."

    It is insects. They're covering a shuttle flight that Homer is on and he's cracked open an ant farm that's part of one of the science experiments on board. When they go to the shuttle camera and ant is right in front of the lens and looks huge. They cut the feed and Brockman welcomes our new Insect Overlords. Later he has a banner proclaiming the same behind him.

    I'm pretty sure he did one on robots too... hang on...

    Nope. I'm wrong. It's just insects on the Simpsons and everything else from the rest of the planet.

    Sorry to be pedantic. That's one of my favorite Simpsons moments. Of course, since they love to do callbacks so much I'm surprised that never became a running gag.

    --------------------------------------
    When you encounter a problem, if the solution isn't readily evident go back to the start and check your assumptions.
    --------------------------------------
    It’s unpleasantly like being drunk.
    What’s so unpleasant about being drunk?
    You ask a glass of water. -- Douglas Adams

  • Stefan Krzywicki (3/11/2011)


    Grant Fritchey (3/11/2011)


    Stefan Krzywicki (3/11/2011)


    Grant Fritchey (3/11/2011)


    GSquared (3/11/2011)


    GilaMonster (3/11/2011)


    I signed off two official design documents back at the bank as "Database Overlord". No one commented.

    I, for one, welcome our new reptilian overlords ....

    (Now I can't remember where I first ran into that.)

    It's from the Simpsons. Kent Brockman keeps getting passed fake news announcements that something or other has taken over the world. "I, for one, welcome our new robot overlords."

    It is insects. They're covering a shuttle flight that Homer is on and he's cracked open an ant farm that's part of one of the science experiments on board. When they go to the shuttle camera and ant is right in front of the lens and looks huge. They cut the feed and Brockman welcomes our new Insect Overlords. Later he has a banner proclaiming the same behind him.

    I'm pretty sure he did one on robots too... hang on...

    Nope. I'm wrong. It's just insects on the Simpsons and everything else from the rest of the planet.

    Sorry to be pedantic. That's one of my favorite Simpsons moments. Of course, since they love to do callbacks so much I'm surprised that never became a running gag.

    Especially since it's become such a meme. Surely there's ammo there for them to play with.

    "The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood"
    - Theodore Roosevelt

    Author of:
    SQL Server Execution Plans
    SQL Server Query Performance Tuning

  • GSquared (3/11/2011)


    Ian Scarlett (3/11/2011)


    DBA - Does Bu**er All

    as some of my co-workers try to tell me πŸ˜›

    And here I thought the usual insult on it was "Database A**hole".

    More often "Daft Bloody A**hole". And sometimes bean counters get referred to as DBAs, because people think it really does stand for that.

    edit: or was that "Daft Bloody Accountant" ?

    Tom

  • ltwitchell (3/11/2011)


    I usually tell people I'm a database weenie, for the same reason.

    I usually have called myself the data janitor. Makes people laugh and disarms them a bit from the last DBA being too self-important.

    Heh... I call myself "the cleaning lady". When they ask why, I tell them it's because "I don't do Windows." πŸ˜›

    --Jeff Moden


    RBAR is pronounced "ree-bar" and is a "Modenism" for Row-By-Agonizing-Row.
    First step towards the paradigm shift of writing Set Based code:
    ________Stop thinking about what you want to do to a ROW... think, instead, of what you want to do to a COLUMN.

    Change is inevitable... Change for the better is not.


    Helpful Links:
    How to post code problems
    How to Post Performance Problems
    Create a Tally Function (fnTally)

  • Ian Scarlett (3/11/2011)


    DBA - Does Bu**er All

    Does Backups - Allegedly

  • Anyone got any suggestions for here: http://www.sqlservercentral.com/Forums/Topic1077027-392-1.aspx

    Gail Shaw
    Microsoft Certified Master: SQL Server, MVP, M.Sc (Comp Sci)
    SQL In The Wild: Discussions on DB performance with occasional diversions into recoverability

    We walk in the dark places no others will enter
    We stand on the bridge and no one may pass
  • GilaMonster (3/12/2011)


    Anyone got any suggestions for here: http://www.sqlservercentral.com/Forums/Topic1077027-392-1.aspx

    took a stab at it.

    "The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood"
    - Theodore Roosevelt

    Author of:
    SQL Server Execution Plans
    SQL Server Query Performance Tuning

  • Grant Fritchey (3/12/2011)


    GilaMonster (3/12/2011)


    Anyone got any suggestions for here: http://www.sqlservercentral.com/Forums/Topic1077027-392-1.aspx

    took a stab at it.

    Posted how to inspect the text using substring() and tally table, I've been having to do this lately at work.

    ---------------------------------------------------------
    How best to post your question[/url]
    How to post performance problems[/url]
    Tally Table:What it is and how it replaces a loop[/url]

    "stewsterl 80804 (10/16/2009)I guess when you stop and try to understand the solution provided you not only learn, but save yourself some headaches when you need to make any slight changes."

  • SQLkiwi (3/11/2011)


    Ian Scarlett (3/11/2011)


    DBA - Does Bu**er All

    Does Backups - Allegedly

    Ha! :-D:hehe:

    ---------------------------------------------------------
    How best to post your question[/url]
    How to post performance problems[/url]
    Tally Table:What it is and how it replaces a loop[/url]

    "stewsterl 80804 (10/16/2009)I guess when you stop and try to understand the solution provided you not only learn, but save yourself some headaches when you need to make any slight changes."

  • GilaMonster (3/12/2011)


    Anyone got any suggestions for here: http://www.sqlservercentral.com/Forums/Topic1077027-392-1.aspx

    I posted a link to the article I wrote on this. If he's got invisible text, this should help.

    --------------------------------------
    When you encounter a problem, if the solution isn't readily evident go back to the start and check your assumptions.
    --------------------------------------
    It’s unpleasantly like being drunk.
    What’s so unpleasant about being drunk?
    You ask a glass of water. -- Douglas Adams

  • jcrawf02 (3/12/2011)


    Grant Fritchey (3/12/2011)


    GilaMonster (3/12/2011)


    Anyone got any suggestions for here: http://www.sqlservercentral.com/Forums/Topic1077027-392-1.aspx

    took a stab at it.

    Posted how to inspect the text using substring() and tally table, I've been having to do this lately at work.

    Thanks to you both. I've been doing that a lot in SSIS recently (unlike SQL, SSIS lookup does not ignore trailing spaces), but not recently in SQL

    Gail Shaw
    Microsoft Certified Master: SQL Server, MVP, M.Sc (Comp Sci)
    SQL In The Wild: Discussions on DB performance with occasional diversions into recoverability

    We walk in the dark places no others will enter
    We stand on the bridge and no one may pass
  • Anyone around willing to take a readability review of an article (though will probably be split in two) I'm in the middle of writing? I need a second set of eyeballs on it to find the parts where I speak in Craig-speak which makes no dang sense to anyone else but I glide riiiiight over it. πŸ˜›

    I warn you now: It's 19 pages in MS Word.


    - Craig Farrell

    Never stop learning, even if it hurts. Ego bruises are practically mandatory as you learn unless you've never risked enough to make a mistake.

    For better assistance in answering your questions[/url] | Forum Netiquette
    For index/tuning help, follow these directions.[/url] |Tally Tables[/url]

    Twitter: @AnyWayDBA

  • Craig Farrell (3/13/2011)


    Anyone around willing to take a readability review of an article (though will probably be split in two) I'm in the middle of writing? I need a second set of eyeballs on it to find the parts where I speak in Craig-speak which makes no dang sense to anyone else but I glide riiiiight over it. πŸ˜›

    I warn you now: It's 19 pages in MS Word.

    What's the subject, Craig?

    --Jeff Moden


    RBAR is pronounced "ree-bar" and is a "Modenism" for Row-By-Agonizing-Row.
    First step towards the paradigm shift of writing Set Based code:
    ________Stop thinking about what you want to do to a ROW... think, instead, of what you want to do to a COLUMN.

    Change is inevitable... Change for the better is not.


    Helpful Links:
    How to post code problems
    How to Post Performance Problems
    Create a Tally Function (fnTally)

  • Jeff Moden (3/13/2011)


    Craig Farrell (3/13/2011)


    Anyone around willing to take a readability review of an article (though will probably be split in two) I'm in the middle of writing? I need a second set of eyeballs on it to find the parts where I speak in Craig-speak which makes no dang sense to anyone else but I glide riiiiight over it. πŸ˜›

    I warn you now: It's 19 pages in MS Word.

    What's the subject, Craig?

    *facepalm* Yeah, that would help, wouldn't it?

    Looking for work in SQL Server and Reading Job Postings


    - Craig Farrell

    Never stop learning, even if it hurts. Ego bruises are practically mandatory as you learn unless you've never risked enough to make a mistake.

    For better assistance in answering your questions[/url] | Forum Netiquette
    For index/tuning help, follow these directions.[/url] |Tally Tables[/url]

    Twitter: @AnyWayDBA

  • Craig Farrell (3/13/2011)


    Anyone around willing to take a readability review of an article (though will probably be split in two) I'm in the middle of writing? I need a second set of eyeballs on it to find the parts where I speak in Craig-speak which makes no dang sense to anyone else but I glide riiiiight over it. πŸ˜›

    I warn you now: It's 19 pages in MS Word.

    I'll beta-read for you. PMing my email to you right now.

    Brandie Tarvin, MCITP Database AdministratorLiveJournal Blog: http://brandietarvin.livejournal.com/[/url]On LinkedIn!, Google+, and Twitter.Freelance Writer: ShadowrunLatchkeys: Nevermore, Latchkeys: The Bootleg War, and Latchkeys: Roscoes in the Night are now available on Nook and Kindle.

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