Are the posted questions getting worse?

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Are the posted questions getting worse?

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Jeff Moden SSC Guru Points: 1004441 More actions · Answer 1

Fal (2/16/2011)
Brandie Tarvin (2/16/2011)
... But I'd avoid dark alleys, if I were you....
Well, there goes the joy in life.
But wait, you mentioned something about "tar and feathers"??
Steve.

Mmmmmm. Makes the perfect coating for high velocity pork chops. 😉

--Jeff Moden

RBAR is pronounced "ree-bar" and is a "Modenism" for Row-By-Agonizing-Row.
First step towards the paradigm shift of writing Set Based code:
________Stop thinking about what you want to do to a ROW... think, instead, of what you want to do to a COLUMN.

Change is inevitable... Change for the better is not.

Helpful Links:
How to post code problems
How to Post Performance Problems
Create a Tally Function (fnTally)

Jeff Moden SSC Guru Points: 1004441 More actions · Answer 2

GSquared (2/16/2011)
Fal (2/16/2011)
Koen Verbeeck (2/15/2011)
Fal (2/15/2011)
WayneS (2/15/2011)
Can anyone point me to a delimited split function that works on a varchar(max)? I know that Jeff's DelimitedSplit8K works on up to a varchar(8000), and I seem to recall that there were performance issues going beyond that.
Well, at great risk of embarrassing myself in front of some big names with my initial post on this thread, this is what I've got:
...
Is that ... SQL code? In THE thread?
Uh oh...
Craig Farrell (2/15/2011)
You got your code in my THREAD! ARGGGHHH... We need to take this outside!
Oh no...
Brandie Tarvin (2/16/2011)
Well, since someone broke the "no technical talk in The Thread" rule...
D'OH!
I knew I should've lurked longer. But no, I had to help someone! 😛
Steve.
I blame Wayne. Execution at noon.

Heh... "death" by pork poisoning. 😛

--Jeff Moden

RBAR is pronounced "ree-bar" and is a "Modenism" for Row-By-Agonizing-Row.
First step towards the paradigm shift of writing Set Based code:
________Stop thinking about what you want to do to a ROW... think, instead, of what you want to do to a COLUMN.

Change is inevitable... Change for the better is not.

Helpful Links:
How to post code problems
How to Post Performance Problems
Create a Tally Function (fnTally)

Evil Kraig F SSC Guru Points: 100851 More actions · Answer 3

Jeff Moden (2/16/2011)
Fal (2/16/2011)
Brandie Tarvin (2/16/2011)
... But I'd avoid dark alleys, if I were you....
Well, there goes the joy in life.
But wait, you mentioned something about "tar and feathers"??
Steve.
Mmmmmm. Makes the perfect coating for high velocity pork chops. 😉

CREATE FUNCTION ufn_OptimizePorkChop

AS

INSERT INTO PorkChop ( covering) VALUES ('Tar')

INSERT INTO Porkchop (covering) VALUES ( 'Feathers')

RETURN SELECT MAX( velocity) FROM PorkChop

GO

- Craig Farrell

Never stop learning, even if it hurts. Ego bruises are practically mandatory as you learn unless you've never risked enough to make a mistake.

For better assistance in answering your questions[/url] | Forum Netiquette
For index/tuning help, follow these directions.[/url] |Tally Tables[/url]
Twitter: @AnyWayDBA

Koen Verbeeck SSC Guru Points: 259135 More actions · Answer 4

Jeff Moden (2/16/2011)
CirquedeSQLeil (2/16/2011)
For the execution of Wayne:
--get spid of code requestor
sp_whorequestedcodeIntheThread 'Wayne'
--use returned spids to verify the request
dbcc inputbuffer(61)
--output
'Wayne definitely requested code on the thread'
--yup that's the one
Kill 'Wayne'
just one bad underscore in the name of that sp could change its meaning entirely. 😛

Great, I'm glad I'm not the only one with a dirty mind 😀

Need an answer? No, you need a question
My blog at https://sqlkover.com.
MCSE Business Intelligence - Microsoft Data Platform MVP

spaghettidba SSC Guru Points: 105732 More actions · Answer 5

CirquedeSQLeil (2/16/2011)
For the execution of Wayne:
--get spid of code requestor
sp_whorequestedcodeIntheThread 'Wayne'
--use returned spids to verify the request
dbcc inputbuffer(61)
--output
'Wayne definitely requested code on the thread'
--yup that's the one
Kill 'Wayne'

Craig Farrell (2/16/2011)
CREATE FUNCTION ufn_OptimizePorkChop
AS
INSERT INTO PorkChop ( covering) VALUES ('Tar')
INSERT INTO Porkchop (covering) VALUES ( 'Feathers')
RETURN SELECT MAX( velocity) FROM PorkChop
GO
[/code]

Code brings more (pseudo)code, it seems...

Definitely kill the one who started this on THE THREAD!

:-D:-D

-- Gianluca Sartori

Koen Verbeeck SSC Guru Points: 259135 More actions · Answer 6

Gianluca Sartori (2/17/2011)
Code brings more (pseudo)code, it seems...
Definitely kill the one who started this on THE THREAD!
:-D:-D

I'll go fetch the angry mob! 🙂

Need an answer? No, you need a question
My blog at https://sqlkover.com.
MCSE Business Intelligence - Microsoft Data Platform MVP

WayneS SSC Guru Points: 95461 More actions · Answer 7

You guys are so supportive!:-D 😛

Don't know what I'd do without you... oh wait, yes I do! :w00t:

Wayne
Microsoft Certified Master: SQL Server 2008
Author - SQL Server T-SQL Recipes

If you can't explain to another person how the code that you're copying from the internet works, then DON'T USE IT on a production system! After all, you will be the one supporting it!

Links:
For better assistance in answering your questions
Performance Problems
Common date/time routines
Understanding and Using APPLY Part 1 & Part 2

Gail Shaw SSC Guru Points: 1004504 More actions · Answer 8

Koen Verbeeck (2/17/2011)
Gianluca Sartori (2/17/2011)
Code brings more (pseudo)code, it seems...
Definitely kill the one who started this on THE THREAD!
:-D:-D
I'll go fetch the angry mob! 🙂

There's a few of them roaming around locally. Want to borrow?

Gail Shaw
Microsoft Certified Master: SQL Server, MVP, M.Sc (Comp Sci)
SQL In The Wild: Discussions on DB performance with occasional diversions into recoverability

We walk in the dark places no others will enter
We stand on the bridge and no one may pass

spaghettidba SSC Guru Points: 105732 More actions · Answer 9

GilaMonster (2/17/2011)
Koen Verbeeck (2/17/2011)
Gianluca Sartori (2/17/2011)
Code brings more (pseudo)code, it seems...
Definitely kill the one who started this on THE THREAD!
:-D:-D
I'll go fetch the angry mob! 🙂
There's a few of them roaming around locally. Want to borrow?

Interesting avatar, Gail. But... what is it exactly?

What happened to Qui-Gon Jinn?

-- Gianluca Sartori

Gail Shaw SSC Guru Points: 1004504 More actions · Answer 10

Gianluca Sartori (2/17/2011)
Interesting avatar, Gail. But... what is it exactly?

It's a Gila Monster. 😀

What happened to Qui-Gon Jinn?

Taking a vacation. He'll be back soon (probably after I get back from Canada/USA)

Gail Shaw
Microsoft Certified Master: SQL Server, MVP, M.Sc (Comp Sci)
SQL In The Wild: Discussions on DB performance with occasional diversions into recoverability

We walk in the dark places no others will enter
We stand on the bridge and no one may pass

Brandie Tarvin SSC Guru Points: 173083 More actions · Answer 11

Jeff Moden (2/16/2011)
CirquedeSQLeil (2/16/2011)
For the execution of Wayne:
--get spid of code requestor
sp_whorequestedcodeIntheThread 'Wayne'
--use returned spids to verify the request
dbcc inputbuffer(61)
--output
'Wayne definitely requested code on the thread'
--yup that's the one
Kill 'Wayne'
just one bad underscore in the name of that sp could change its meaning entirely. 😛

You know, I was just thinking that. I misread that sproc at first and thought "WHAT THE HECK?"

ROTFLOL.

Brandie Tarvin, MCITP Database AdministratorLiveJournal Blog: http://brandietarvin.livejournal.com/[/url]On LinkedIn!, Google+, and Twitter.Freelance Writer: ShadowrunLatchkeys: Nevermore, Latchkeys: The Bootleg War, and Latchkeys: Roscoes in the Night are now available on Nook and Kindle.

Brandie Tarvin SSC Guru Points: 173083 More actions · Answer 12

Koen Verbeeck (2/17/2011)
Gianluca Sartori (2/17/2011)
Code brings more (pseudo)code, it seems...
Definitely kill the one who started this on THE THREAD!
:-D:-D
I'll go fetch the angry mob! 🙂

I'll supply the torches! (Who's responsible for the pitchforks?)

Brandie Tarvin, MCITP Database AdministratorLiveJournal Blog: http://brandietarvin.livejournal.com/[/url]On LinkedIn!, Google+, and Twitter.Freelance Writer: ShadowrunLatchkeys: Nevermore, Latchkeys: The Bootleg War, and Latchkeys: Roscoes in the Night are now available on Nook and Kindle.

The Dixie Flatline SSC Guru Points: 53354 More actions · Answer 13

Jeff Moden (2/16/2011)
WayneS (2/15/2011)
Can anyone point me to a delimited split function that works on a varchar(max)? I know that Jeff's DelimitedSplit8K works on up to a varchar(8000), and I seem to recall that there were performance issues going beyond that.
I've got a new splitter I've been working on for the revision of the Tally Table article. It absolutely screams on 8k even compared to the old DelimitedSplit8K. Since it's bad mojo to post code on the thread, I'll send it to you tonight... I could use a little help testing it. 😛

Hey Jeff, could I have a peek?

P.S. My mind was in the gutter too.

__________________________________________________

Against stupidity the gods themselves contend in vain. -- Friedrich Schiller
Stop, children, what's that sound? Everybody look what's going down. -- Stephen Stills

Brandie Tarvin SSC Guru Points: 173083 More actions · Answer 14

I rarely blog about technical stuff, mostly about writing. Today, I blogged about SQL Server and fragmentation. (It's a rephrase of something I just posted in another thread).

If anyone is interested, would you mind taking a look and commenting? I'm looking for constructive reviews and better links than the ones I've found. I'd greatly appreciate the feedback.

http://brandietarvin.livejournal.com/25867.html

Brandie Tarvin, MCITP Database AdministratorLiveJournal Blog: http://brandietarvin.livejournal.com/[/url]On LinkedIn!, Google+, and Twitter.Freelance Writer: ShadowrunLatchkeys: Nevermore, Latchkeys: The Bootleg War, and Latchkeys: Roscoes in the Night are now available on Nook and Kindle.

george sibbald SSC Guru Points: 104210 More actions · Answer 15

Koen Verbeeck (2/16/2011)
Jeff Moden (2/16/2011)
CirquedeSQLeil (2/16/2011)
For the execution of Wayne:
--get spid of code requestor
sp_whorequestedcodeIntheThread 'Wayne'
--use returned spids to verify the request
dbcc inputbuffer(61)
--output
'Wayne definitely requested code on the thread'
--yup that's the one
Kill 'Wayne'
just one bad underscore in the name of that sp could change its meaning entirely. 😛
Great, I'm glad I'm not the only one with a dirty mind 😀

when I saw it my FIRST thought was 'that should really be prefixed usp_' - what does that say about me?

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