Are the posted questions getting worse?

  • Let's have a war

    We can start it in New Jersey

    We don't

    really

    need all these people

    in the city

    There's too many of us, there's too many of us, there's too many of us, there's too many, there's too many....

    "The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood"
    - Theodore Roosevelt

    Author of:
    SQL Server Execution Plans
    SQL Server Query Performance Tuning

  • I've been trying in vain to think of a good image so I can market "ThreadHead" t-shirts.

    __________________________________________________

    Against stupidity the gods themselves contend in vain. -- Friedrich Schiller
    Stop, children, what's that sound? Everybody look what's going down. -- Stephen Stills

  • Steve Jones - Editor (3/8/2009)


    Ninja's_RGR'us (3/8/2009)


    LOL, ROTF.

    Et tu, Ninja, ROFL πŸ™‚

    I don't care... that's just realllllly funny. :hehe::w00t:

  • Bob Hovious (3/8/2009)


    I've been trying in vain to think of a good image so I can market "ThreadHead" t-shirts.

    Out on the road today I saw a threadhead sticker

    On a cadillac

    A little voice inside my head said, dont

    Look back. you can never look back.

    - slight mis quote!

    Rodders...

  • RBarryYoung (3/7/2009)


    As Woody Allen once said:

    "I'm not sure I want to join any club that would have me as a member."

    Either he stole that one from Groucho Marx, or it's misattributed to Allen, because Groucho said that before Allen was even born. I think it was in Coconuts, but might have been Horsefeathers. Don't think it was A Night at the Opera.

    - Gus "GSquared", RSVP, OODA, MAP, NMVP, FAQ, SAT, SQL, DNA, RNA, UOI, IOU, AM, PM, AD, BC, BCE, USA, UN, CF, ROFL, LOL, ETC
    Property of The Thread

    "Nobody knows the age of the human race, but everyone agrees it's old enough to know better." - Anon

  • GSquared (3/9/2009)


    RBarryYoung (3/7/2009)


    As Woody Allen once said:

    "I'm not sure I want to join any club that would have me as a member."

    Either he stole that one from Groucho Marx, or it's misattributed to Allen, because Groucho said that before Allen was even born. I think it was in Coconuts, but might have been Horsefeathers. Don't think it was A Night at the Opera.

    That was Queen, wasn't it? Oh no, Bob, don't read this...

    β€œWrite the query the simplest way. If through testing it becomes clear that the performance is inadequate, consider alternative query forms.” - Gail Shaw

    For fast, accurate and documented assistance in answering your questions, please read this article.
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  • I once shot an elephant in my pajamas... how he got into my pajamas, I'll never know.

    I see a little silhouette-o of a man

    Scaramouche! Scaramouche!

    Will you do the fandango?

    __________________________________________________

    Against stupidity the gods themselves contend in vain. -- Friedrich Schiller
    Stop, children, what's that sound? Everybody look what's going down. -- Stephen Stills

  • Bob Hovious (3/9/2009)


    I once shot an elephant in my pajamas... how he got into my pajamas, I'll never know.

    I see a little silhouette-o of a man

    Scaramouche! Scaramouche!

    Will you do the fandango?

    Thunder bolts and lightning

    very, very frightening me!

  • According to Wikiquote...

    I sent the club a wire stating, "PLEASE ACCEPT MY RESIGNATION. I DON'T WANT TO BELONG TO ANY CLUB THAT WILL ACCEPT PEOPLE LIKE ME AS A MEMBER". - Groucho Marx

    Telegram to the Friar's Club of Beverly Hills to which he belonged, as recounted in Groucho and Me (1959), p. 321

    -- Kit

  • You have to wonder what people are being taught when you see code like this:

    ALTER TRIGGER [dbo].[tr_insert]

    ON [dbo].[table1]

    AFTER INSERT

    AS

    BEGIN

    -- SET NOCOUNT ON added to prevent extra result sets from

    -- interfering with SELECT statements.

    SET NOCOUNT ON;

    DECLARE @i INT

    SELECT @i = COUNT(*) FROM inserted

    SELECT @i

    IF (@i > 1)

    BEGIN

    inser into table2

    select * from table1 where date not in (select date from table2)

    end

    IF (@i = 1 )

    begin

    INSERT INTO [dbo].[table1]

    ([ReportDate]

    ,[EmployeeID]

    ,[CreatedDate]

    ,[CreatedBy])

    select * from inserted

    end

    There are times you want to help, but you just don't know where to start.

  • GSquared (3/9/2009)


    RBarryYoung (3/7/2009)


    As Woody Allen once said:

    "I'm not sure I want to join any club that would have me as a member."

    Either he stole that one from Groucho Marx, or it's misattributed to Allen, because Groucho said that before Allen was even born. I think it was in Coconuts, but might have been Horsefeathers. Don't think it was A Night at the Opera.

    I probably mixed them up in my head. When I was in high school my best friend and I used to watch both the Marx Bros and Woody Allen all the time (a little odd I guess since we were both goyim).

    Let me check on it...

    [font="Times New Roman"]-- RBarryYoung[/font], [font="Times New Roman"] (302)375-0451[/font] blog: MovingSQL.com, Twitter: @RBarryYoung[font="Arial Black"]
    Proactive Performance Solutions, Inc.
    [/font]
    [font="Verdana"] "Performance is our middle name."[/font]

  • Lynn Pettis (3/9/2009)


    You have to wonder what people are being taught when you see code like this:

    ALTER TRIGGER [dbo].[tr_insert]

    ON [dbo].[table1]

    AFTER INSERT

    AS

    BEGIN

    -- SET NOCOUNT ON added to prevent extra result sets from

    -- interfering with SELECT statements.

    SET NOCOUNT ON;

    DECLARE @i INT

    SELECT @i = COUNT(*) FROM inserted

    SELECT @i

    IF (@i > 1)

    BEGIN

    inser into table2

    select * from table1 where date not in (select date from table2)

    end

    IF (@i = 1 )

    begin

    INSERT INTO [dbo].[table1]

    ([ReportDate]

    ,[EmployeeID]

    ,[CreatedDate]

    ,[CreatedBy])

    select * from inserted

    end

    There are times you want to help, but you just don't know where to start.

    I've enjoyed that one as well.

  • Lynn Pettis (3/9/2009)


    You have to wonder what people are being taught when you see code like this:

    ALTER TRIGGER [dbo].[tr_insert]

    ON [dbo].[table1]

    AFTER INSERT

    AS

    BEGIN

    -- SET NOCOUNT ON added to prevent extra result sets from

    -- interfering with SELECT statements.

    SET NOCOUNT ON;

    DECLARE @i INT

    SELECT @i = COUNT(*) FROM inserted

    SELECT @i

    IF (@i > 1)

    BEGIN

    inser into table2

    select * from table1 where date not in (select date from table2)

    end

    IF (@i = 1 )

    begin

    INSERT INTO [dbo].[table1]

    ([ReportDate]

    ,[EmployeeID]

    ,[CreatedDate]

    ,[CreatedBy])

    select * from inserted

    end

    There are times you want to help, but you just don't know where to start.

    Yep.

    Question 1 - What in the .... are you trying to do?

    After getting the answer, respond with, either, why, or, let me show you a better way to do this.



    Alvin Ramard
    Memphis PASS Chapter[/url]

    All my SSC forum answers come with a money back guarantee. If you didn't like the answer then I'll gladly refund what you paid for it.

    For best practices on asking questions, please read the following article: Forum Etiquette: How to post data/code on a forum to get the best help[/url]

  • Ah, mystery solved. Here's an explanation from the site http://www.16-9.dk/2007-02/side11_inenglish.htm:

    Soon after the opening credits of Annie Hall (1977), Woody Allen tells the "Resignation Joke" while facing the camera (fig.2), in his role as Alvy Singer (1):

    The – the other important joke for me is one that's, uh, usually attributed to Groucho Marx but I think it appears originally in Freud's Wit and its Relation to the Unconscious. And it goes like this – I'm paraphrasing: Uh... "I would never wanna belong to any club that would have someone like me for a member." That's the key joke of my adult life in terms of my relationships with women. (Allen, 1983: 4)

    So it appears that Groucho said it, but not actually in any of his movies, which is why I only would have known it from Woody Allen quoting Groucho in Annie Hall and then short-circuited it into Woody's joke instead of Groucho's. My bad...

    [font="Times New Roman"]-- RBarryYoung[/font], [font="Times New Roman"] (302)375-0451[/font] blog: MovingSQL.com, Twitter: @RBarryYoung[font="Arial Black"]
    Proactive Performance Solutions, Inc.
    [/font]
    [font="Verdana"] "Performance is our middle name."[/font]

  • Don't worry Barry. It's an easy one to make. And I'm sure it's not on the list of errors worthy of a pork chop. πŸ˜› There are lots of jokes around that get attributed to either the wrong person or were totally made up in the first place. People are so imaginative. :w00t:

    Woody Allen... I guess that explains a lot... :crazy:

    -- Kit

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