An object lesson about what is really important

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An object lesson about what is really important

bkubicek

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August 10, 2016 at 10:17 pm

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Comments posted to this topic are about the item An object lesson about what is really important

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Manie SSCarpal Tunnel Points: 4568 More actions · Answer 1

A very difficult thing you talking about here. In my life I know what is the most important and what is the least. Sometimes, however, you have to do some circus tricks to balance everything. One thing is certain for me though, I do not work after hours or weekends unless it is absolutely matter of death urgent. I take all my leave in a year (not much anyway).

I my life I try to make God the most important, then my wife and then my kids and everything else but I have a tendency sometimes to muddle things up a bit. Any good advice?:cool::cool::cool::cool::cool::cool::cool:

Manie Verster
Developer
Johannesburg
South Africa

I am happy because I choose to be happy.
I just love my job!!!

Gary Varga SSC Guru Points: 82166 More actions · Answer 2

I am useless at the whole work/life balance malarkey.

I work too many hours, try to give all I can to my wife and children then end up with too little for me. Me? Seriously? Yes. If I don't have enough of a life myself I start to become a shell of a man and I end up with nothing to give to those I try to give to.

On the other hand, I provide well (or at least have done so far), attend most events (family, school, etc.) and I shift my working day so that I leave home at silly o'clock so that I can see everyone at the end of the day.

I haven't got the balance right but I haven't tipped the scales totally in one direction.

Gaz

-- Stop your grinnin' and drop your linen...they're everywhere!!!

bkubicek SSChampion Points: 10948 More actions · Answer 3

I think a good question to ask yourself is: why do you work too many hours? I am sure your work expects a lot out of you, but you probably expect even more out of yourself. Would your work be upset if you worked a few less hours? Do you need to say "no" to a project when your plate is already over full? I am sure you are doing a great job, but at some point you sort of have to take control back.

Hope you have a great day!

Ben

Leon Page SSC Rookie Points: 44 More actions · Answer 4

Ben, thanks for the post. This is the most important issue for anyone involved in work that has the potential to consume more and more of your time. I have the same priorities that you describe in your bio. Every day I have to make the decision to take time for the people I work with and for my family and not try to do more that I can manage. Thanks again!

MiguelSQL Hall of Fame Points: 3112 More actions · Answer 5

The version I heard ended with "after the professor put the sand in, he said it was full. A student gets up in the back, getso a can of beer from his backpack, and poor the beer in, NOW it's full"

Lesson: no matter how busy you are, there's always time fire a beer with the friends."

Dave Schutz SSCarpal Tunnel Points: 4190 More actions · Answer 6

God, family, work in that order. Lately I've been filling my life with mission work, family, job.

akljfhnlaflkj SSC Guru Points: 76202 More actions · Answer 7

Every so often we have to stop and take a check on how full that jar is. Sometimes we have to dump out some sand and rocks to make room for a new higher priority.

Eric M Russell SSC Guru Points: 125561 More actions · Answer 8

Time and again, good employees have walked away from good jobs in search of another job that will somehow make them happy. However, in many cases it's their life, not their career, that's empty. So, if you're an employer, you definately want to encourage your employees to have a good life / work balance.

"Do not seek to follow in the footsteps of the wise. Instead, seek what they sought." - Matsuo Basho

jrobinson 7382 SSC Journeyman Points: 82 More actions · Answer 9

Thanks, Ben, great article. I had heard the story before with a different spin but was pleasantly surprised at the object lesson presented here. Knowing what to do with the large stones really is the most important thing in life. Life's quality is totally dependent on it.

For me, as others have mentioned, number one is knowing God, followed by family, then friends and other human beings. But work isn't the only thing that can cause us to lose sight of those large stones. In our always-on world there are many demands and distractions that can soak up our time and energy. It takes diligent effort to protect and preserve what's important. Life has to be lived with intentional purpose and goals or there will be a load of regrets at the end.

And as someone else pointed out, not much more than a shell will be left if we don't invest in ourselves in a healthy way by pursuing interests and filling true needs. Otherwise that shell will become a vacuum that sucks something unhealthy into it.

Aaron N. Cutshall SSCrazy Eights Points: 9011 More actions · Answer 10

Good reminder Ben. I had to learn a long time ago that you work to live, not live to work. If your life is out of balance, so will your work be out of balance. There will always be more work to do, but there will never be that many days available with family. It doesn't take long before your kids are grown and you realize that you've missed out on some absolutely amazing opportunities that you'll never get back.

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/sqlrv
Website: https://www.sqlrv.com

RonKyle SSC-Dedicated Points: 31556 More actions · Answer 11

I would tell my kids that "Family comes first, but not always." There would be times in life where work temporarily came first. Had it remained permanently so, I would have found another job.

Aaron N. Cutshall SSCrazy Eights Points: 9011 More actions · Answer 12

RonKyle (8/11/2016)
I would tell my kids that "Family comes first, but not always." There would be times in life where work temporarily came first. Had it remained permanently so, I would have found another job.

Agreed, as with every rule there are exceptions, provided the long term benefits are greater than any other short term benefits. My kids had to understand that sometimes work came before some things like seeing a movie which could be seen later. Prudence is certainly key here.

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/sqlrv
Website: https://www.sqlrv.com

Beatrix Kiddo SSC-Dedicated Points: 32407 More actions · Answer 13

I think it's worth remembering that we do all have more time than we think.

There are 168 hours in a week. If we're lucky enough to sleep 8 hours a night, that's 56 hours accounted for. Even if we then spend 56 hours a week at work and commuting (and most people don't because so many people over-estimate how much work they do), that still leaves a full 56 waking hours per week or 8 hours a day free to spend with family, or exercising, or volunteering, or watching TV, eating meals, etc.

IT IS INSANE how much time I waste :-D. It actually makes me a bit panicky thinking about it.

Gary Varga SSC Guru Points: 82166 More actions · Answer 14

Some people seem to truly believe that one should "live each day like it is your last" but I want to live long enough to enjoy reaping the rewards of the education and career that I have invested in. The balance, in my opinion, is in investing enough to enable lifelong enjoyment (not necessarily in a hedonist way) without over investing i.e. you might leave your kids something but don't work for your adult kids.

Gaz

-- Stop your grinnin' and drop your linen...they're everywhere!!!