If you are an introvert like me, events like the PASS Summit can call forth your social anxiety. I know this past week, I definitely felt it, even though there were quite a few folks that I already knew and had spent time with before. However, there were over a thousand folks that I didn’t know or didn’t know well, and that made it hard to feel comfortable when there wasn’t a particular focus, like with a keynote or session. If you felt likewise, I’m going to recommend a resource that was recommended to me.
Many a year ago now, Andy Warren recommended a book by Don Gabor called How to Start a Conversation and Make Friends (link goes to the author’s page for the book). I’ve had it in my Kindle books ever since Andy told me about the book and I’ve attempted to start it a few times but always quiteshortly thereafter. The reason I never finish is because it means I have to confront the discomfort I feel in social settings. Basically, it’s self-destructive behavior if you think about it. If you also have social anxiety and have similarly self-destructed in your attempts to improve, realize you aren’t alone. We are many.
However, I know that part of the reason we should attend conferences is to increase our network. This is something I do quite poorly to my own detriment. While I found I was able to easily talk to and spend time with folks I had known previously, I didn’t do a good job with new folks, except for folks in the Expo Hall with whom I had specific reason to connect. There are books out there like Keith Ferrazzi’s Never Eat Alone which recommend that we attend conferences primarily for the networking, because often times we can find the learning elsewhere. With larger conferences now offering the ability to watch the sessions on demand afterwards, that’s especially true.
I don’t know if Mr. Gabor’s book is the best one for those looking to overcome social anxiety, as I am far from an expert on the subject. However, for me it represents a starting point to address the issue. If you also feel you need to address the same issue, use your favorite search engine, ask your coach (if you have one), or trust Mr. Warren’s recommendation and grab a copy of Gabor’s book. This time around, I’m envisioning the outcome at the end of the journey. I have a classmate from The Citadel who has always had the ability to make friends with anyone. That’s my target state. That’s my goal. So here we go into a journey of self-improvement on a “soft skill” I need to improve. If you also are going to embark on such a journey, drop me a line. It’d be good to form a group to help encourage one another.