You want sysadmin permissions in production? And your manager has approved it so I shouldn’t have any problems giving it to you? Absolutely! it’s all yours.
Later
You accidentally dropped a production database because you thought you were in dev? Yes, I can help you get that back. Yes, I understand you need it back immediately and completely up to date. I’m quite aware of how much money we are losing every minute it takes. I’m not sure why we are having a problem though .. don’t we have an availability group set up for this? I’m sure it just failed over.
Oh, you turned that off last week because you read it would cause performance problems? No problem, we will start a restore right away. Unfortunately this database is quite large so it’s going to be a bit.
Slight hitch though. It says you took a backup the day before yesterday and you forgot to use copy_only. You don’t know what that is? No problem, I’ll show you once we get this fixed. Now, where is that backup you took.
You deleted it because you didn’t need it anymore? Ok, well it will take a bit longer but we can just restore from the previous full backup, and the last differential before your backup. Then we can just use log backups to get to current.
You disabled the log backups because you felt they were unnecessary? And then you put the database in simple recovery mode because the log kept getting full? Hmm .. well .. we will just have to restore back to the differential before your backup. Yes, I’m quite aware that loses us three days worth of irreplaceable data.
So, while this is running. I’m curious how Bob ended up in the sysadmin role. Isn’t he a contractor? Oh, he’s a friend of yours and said he really needed access to some data in this other database so you just gave him sysadmin because it’s easier? Yes. Bob is a nice guy. Very friendly. Didn’t he just leave to go work for one of our competitors?
One sec, I have to go for a bit. The CIO just showed up at my desk wanting me to explain why the application is down.