nachlophobia – n. the fear that your deepest connections with people are ultimately pretty shallow, that although your relationships feel congenial in the moment, an audit of your life would reveal a smattering of low-interest holdings and uninvested windfall profits, which will indicate you were never really at risk of joy, sacrifice, or loss.
I don’t have nachlophobia. Maybe in my younger years, but I deeply value connections with those I choose to spend time with. I have learned to make an effort at events to spend significant time with a few people, even if this means I don’t get time with others.
I have no fear that I’m not risking anything; I am. I am truly saddened when my close friends experience pain and joyful for their success.
A few weeks ago at the PASS Summit, I spent an hour sitting in a mostly empty room with a friend, talking about life. We chat periodically, but we don’t see each other enough. It was worth every minute. I also had to go offsite to an event and another friend asked to ride with me. I was grateful for the company and conversation, something I don’t get enough of.
I hope none of you have nachlophobia. If you do, spend time building strong relationships, which are defined by you. It doesn’t matter how others feel about me, it’s about how I feel about them.
From the Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows