fardle-din – n. a long-overdue argument that shakes up a relationship, burning wildly through your issues like a forest fire, which clears out your dry and hollow grievances and reminds you that your roots run deeper than you think.
I have had a few fardle-dins. Both in my personal life and at work. The private ones are private, but let me tell you about a work faux-pax on my part.
I had complained to an individual at a previous company that the way their team approached some software work was incomplete. In my mind, the team often simplified things too often and looked at the software for only a simple use-case, not examining common situations outside of the core use case. At the same time, the teams thought I wasn’t focused enough on different problems to ensure they were well designed.
After seeing this a few times, I publicly criticized their approach and offended the manager of that team. I received a private tongue lashing for this, with the manager pointing out that they do a lot of different work to consider different situations.
We ended up working through our differences, with me understanding their view, but the team also starting to understand why their approaches each tended to be over simplifications and created tunnel vision. I apologized publicly and we burned through our issues, creating a better relationship for the long term.
It’s never a pleasant process when you encounter a fardle-dun, but it can be cathartic and build something better.
From the Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows