I was eating dinner with the family the other night and saw a poster on the wall talking about the "man game". It was something like this:
Ask for directions <============= ==============> Find a shortcut - 7 points + 5 points Shop for drapes <============= ==============> Replace the cord in your drill - 12 points + 14 points Watch a soap opera <============= ==============> Go to a ballgame - 8 points + 9 points
and a few more, but I think you get the idea.
It was pretty funny and got me thinking. Maybe we should have a DBA game? So I spent a few minutes working on one and came up with a few things that I hope you'll like.
The DBA Game
Score yourself and add up the results.
More than 5% of your tables <===== =====> Every table has at least two indexes are heaps, -5 points +6 points 1st normal form <===== =====> 3rd normal form -8 points +7 points blank sa password <===== =====> Custom job to force password changes -10 points every 90 days, +14 points Developers edit objects <===== =====> Everything under source control in Enterprise Manager, -8 points +7 points Developers have sa rights on <===== =====> Windows admins have no sa rights development dbs, -12 points +11 points Backup directly to tape <===== =====> Keep at least one day's backups on disk -5 points +6 points Backup to the same file <===== =====> Custom backup jobs naming backup files everyday, -6 points for the date/time, +5 points ( +2 for using third party compression to save space) No operators setup for <===== =====> Custom jobs sending emails on performance alerts alerts, -2 points +4 points ( -1 if using third party software for rich shops) Boss has access to write his <===== =====> Boss is afraid to ask when the restore will be own SQL queries, -4 points completed, +6 points Rewrite stored procedure for <===== =====> Rewrite stored procedure for a developer a developer with no deadline with a pressing deadline the same day, +6 points the same day, -9 points Taking a call from a <===== =====> Dropping your cell phone in a pitcher of beer business analyst about his when a business analyst calls, +16 points embedded query from Excel -7 points Deferring to the opinion of <===== =====> Properly chastising a developer for expressing a a developer on data modeling divergent opinion from your own on a data model - 10 points +8 points Telling your boss you can <===== =====> Attending the PASS Community Summit learn fine from books for SQL +9 points Server 2005 training, -7 points ( +2 for speaking) Praising Joe Celko <===== =====> Getting Kevin Kline's or Kalen Delaney's autograph - 2 points +1 point ( +10 if you have it on your office wall) 100 SQLServerCentral.com <===== =====> Answering at least half as many questions as posts, all questions you ask on SQLServerCentral.com - 2 points +4 points Forgetting to always create <===== =====> Keeping the index and permission scripts indexes when you create with the table creation and under source tables, -3 points control, +5 points Getting coffee for your boss <===== =====> Having developers bring you coffee at your desk -3 points +4 points No scheduled jobs <===== =====> Using SQLAgent to schedule maintenance, notify you of - 3 points alerts, and use the on call schedule for operators, +6 points. Can't setup SQL Mail in <===== =====> Figuring out how to send HTML formatted mail through 30 minutes, -4 points SQL Server 2000 mail, +7 points. Build a package on your <===== =====> Implement looping in SQL Server 2000 DTS workstation the doesn't run +8 points when scheduled on the production server, -5 points
I don't have any great range titles yet, but feel free to suggest a few. All I know is if you end up with less than 0, perhaps you should consider another line of work. Like a manager.
And throw your own suggestions in here for points and topics. I'll compile a new game for the next major holiday!