January 4, 2008 at 5:23 am
Experts,
I have sent recently the below email to my manager and client officer.
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Dear AnandaKumar,
I had a discussion with Naresh. During this discussion, he explained me about the current situation and what needs to be developed and what software languages would be used. He also suggested me to read the technical document to get better idea on daily check.
My understanding is:
In Phase-1, we need to perform snapshot check. Snapshot check would be designed to show the current log status. But it would not show the old log status.
In Phase-2, we are going to capture detailed status of the log as well as some suggestive actions would be taken automatically based on the log status. New interface would be incorporated with the facility to show the old log status.
For example, we have a log file called abc.txt which has been created from application X. As per the Phase-1 plan, new interface would show the current log status of the application x in the client PC. As per Phase-2 plan, we need to take some actions if the file contains ‘Midnight Load Failed’. Here, let us assume if the file contains ‘Mid Night Load Failed’ an email alert would be send to the concern user or to the interface. To accomplish this task, we have decided to use Shell programming.
Naresh: Please correct me if I am wrong.
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I need some best inputs from best experts about my email.
I suspect the following things.
1) How i have formed the sentences ?
2) How is the elegant of Email?
3) whether my way of written is understandable format or not.
4) In which area i have to improve?
i.e a) Grammar part
b) sentence phrasing part
c) writting style
d) applying some good vocabulary
5) Do i need to take any grammar class ?
Why i am asking and posted here is, I know lot of peoples in this site are from English countries.Also I hope your native language is English. So,if your people gave any suggestions or advices then it would be very helpful for me.
Don't say 'do a search in Google'.I Need some best answers from your side.
Inputs are welcome! Please give me your open suggestions or advices.
karthik
January 4, 2008 at 1:41 pm
Dear AnandaKumar, (Is that one name or two - Ananda Kumar)
I had a discussion with Naresh. During this discussion, he explained to me about the current situation, what needs to be developed and what software languages would be used. He also suggested that I should read the technical document to get better idea on daily checks.
My understanding is:
In Phase-1, we need to perform a snapshot check. The snapshot check would be designed to show the stauts from the current log, but not from the old log.
In Phase-2, we are going to capture detailed status of the log as well as some suggestive actions would be taken automatically based on the status from the log. The new interface would be incorporated with the ability to show the old log status.
For example, we have a log file called abc.txt which has been created from application X. As per the Phase-1 plan, new interface would show the current log status of the application x in the client PC. As per Phase-2 plan, we need to take some actions if the file contains ‘Midnight Load Failed’. Here, let us assume if the file contains ‘Midnight Load Failed’ an email alert would be send to the concern user or to the interface. To accomplish this task, we have decided to use Shell programming.
Naresh: Please correct me if I am wrong.
1. was this email sent to Naresh? If not, then the last sentence shouldn't be there.
2. if you use a term in an email, keep it the same throughout the email. You use both Midnight and Mid Night.
3. don't forget to put your name at the end of the email.
4. I've made other suggestions in the email and bolded my changes.
-SQLBill
January 4, 2008 at 2:20 pm
"stauts" should be "status" (of course), but otherwise SQLBill's rewrite looks correct to me.
- Gus "GSquared", RSVP, OODA, MAP, NMVP, FAQ, SAT, SQL, DNA, RNA, UOI, IOU, AM, PM, AD, BC, BCE, USA, UN, CF, ROFL, LOL, ETC
Property of The Thread
"Nobody knows the age of the human race, but everyone agrees it's old enough to know better." - Anon
January 6, 2008 at 11:44 pm
Thanks SQLBILL.
Also,Kindly answer for the below questions.
1) How i have formed the sentences ?
2) How is the elegant of Email?
3) whether my way of written is understandable format or not.
4) In which area i have to improve?
i.e a) Grammar part
b) sentence phrasing part
c) writting style
d) applying some good vocabulary
5) Do i need to take any grammar class ?
Thanks in advance.
karthik
January 6, 2008 at 11:46 pm
Dear AnandaKumar, (Is that one name or two - Ananda Kumar)
That is one name.
karthik
January 7, 2008 at 9:28 am
SQLBill did a good job, but I still see some missing words. (get A better idea)
As for your questions:
1. The sentences are ok, definitely need spelling/grammar checks. Missing "a", "an", "the" and other words that make the languange flow.
2. There is no "elegant" of email. "How is the elegance of the email" or better, "how elegant is my email". You'd need to look up the various forms of the word to see what I mean. It's not elegant, nor should it be for a business communication like this. It should be clear and well stated.
One thing you do need to do is break your paragraphs when the idea or topic changes. I'd break your Phase 1 and Phase 2 sections into separate paras in the end.
3. It's possibly understandable.It depends on your context. "Midnight" is one word, so if this could be a problem or not. The thing to keep in mind is that if you're not clear and accurate in one part, how can we trust the other parts? Be sure that you are saying what you want the other person to hear.
4. You need to improve in writing. I'd really recommend you take some class where people will critique what you've written. The sentences are choppy.
"I had a discussion with Naresh. During this discussion,", combine these. The first sentence reads too quick and then stops.
You need to learn how to use "a", "the", etc. in sentences. Look at the two versions and you'll see where the grammar mistakes are. Your vocabulary is ok, but you do want to perhaps run emails by a colleague and be sure that you're writing what you think you're writing.
English is hard. It's inconsistent and doesn't make sense sometimes. Also, US English is different than UK English at times.
January 7, 2008 at 1:42 pm
One thing about US English and UK English is spelling. There are some words that spell different, eg in US we spell 'color', in UK 'colour'.
I don't know which Email software do you use, usually it includes spell check liked Outlook, at least you don't have to worry about that one, or I will write the email in Words and do a spell check and grammar check. It is not going to full proof your email content but it helps.
January 10, 2008 at 1:14 am
Thanks Steve,SQLBILL and Loner.
Steve,
As you suggested, I have planned to take some classes.If your people know any books to read(not too hard,just simple english words with proper grammar),Kindly refer me the name.
karthik
January 11, 2008 at 5:08 am
Always a good start is Strunk and White:
http://www.amazon.com/Elements-Style-Fourth-William-Strunk/dp/020530902X
(Sorry, I could not find the ISBN number.)
January 11, 2008 at 5:42 am
Karthik
Try reading some English-language newspapers. You will find that the sentences are clear, concise and well-formed. Stick to the type we in the UK refer to as "broadsheet" or "quality" newspapers, and not "tabloids" or "red-tops". UK examples are The Times, The Guardian, The Daily Telegraph and the Independent, with the ones to avoid including The Sun, The Daily Star and the Daily Mirror.
John
January 11, 2008 at 7:49 am
More data on the book recommended by Jim Russell.
The Elements of Style, Fourth Edition (Paperback)
by William Strunk Jr. (Author), E. B. White (Author), Roger Angell (Foreword)
Paperback: 105 pages
Publisher: Longman; 4th edition (August 2, 1999)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 020530902X
ISBN-13: 978-0205309023
Product Dimensions: 7.1 x 4.4 x 0.5 inches
Shipping Weight: 4.2 ounces
--
John Mitchell has an excellent suggestion about reading the newspapers. I believe all (if not most) newspapers allow you to read the current day news online for free. With American newspapers, I would recommend reading the editorial section. New York Times, Los Angeles Times, USA Today, The Wall Street Journal are all good newspapers to start with.
Also keep in mind that when you ask your writing to be critiqued by three different people, you *will* get three different responses back.
You may also benefit by "googling" for "Sample Business Letter" and/or "Sample Business Email" to see how the document should be formatted and structured, like Steve suggested.
Keep us posted on your progress.
"Key"
MCITP: DBA, MCSE, MCTS: SQL 2005, OCP
January 11, 2008 at 8:40 am
English language is similar to other languages. But, one must understand that the English language is the combination of words from other languages though the primary base for it is Sanskrit. No one can deny.
For example: The word 'Dual' was inherited from 'dhVa'.
The Word 'Aqua' was inherited from 'arkYa'
This does not mean that I am against a particular language. I wouldn't worry as long as the subject matter is conveyed to the other end in any form.
-- Ram
January 11, 2008 at 8:46 am
Ram (1/11/2008)
I wouldn't worry as long as the subject matter is conveyed to the other end in any form.
But if you don't express yourself clearly, then how can you be sure that the subject matter is conveyed to the other end?
John
January 11, 2008 at 8:57 am
Please do not take me wrong. Again, I am not against to any language. But, people think that English is the universal language and it is superior whereas other languages are inferior.
Either developing/never-ever develped countries speak only their native language and reluctant to speak English and surging forward in terms of their economic growth as well in technology. Why don't people in the US prefer to change their language to Spanish? Isn't good?
Oflate, I feel comfortable to write in my own language Sanskrit so that others are aware what it's about? To sumup, English is not the global-commanding/dominating language. I respect all the languages.
-- Ram
January 11, 2008 at 9:11 am
Ram
Absolutely. I'm not preaching the supremacy of any language. But if you don't express yourself clearly in the language in which you have chosen, for whatever reason, to communicate, then misunderstandings may follow. Having said that, it's usually obvious when a writer or speaker is using a language that isn't his or her mother tongue, and the reader or listener will nearly always make allowances for this.
John
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