October 10, 2007 at 1:00 pm
From Self Magazine
A glowing performance review does not necessarily mean you are in the right job. Personality traits such as thoughtfulness and extroversion, not job satisfaction, influence work success the most.
October 14, 2007 at 10:18 am
Any comment on that? Do you agree or disagree?
Not sure what you mean by the posting.
October 14, 2007 at 12:03 pm
I posted this because I read it from a magazine and it was exactly how I felt. I got an outstanding performance review 5 out of 5 from my manager but I did not like my job. I did not like working the people in that company.
But in the other company, I got a very good review 3.5/5 but I loved the job. I liked what I was doing and I liked working the people. Everyday I could not wait to get to work.
I put out this post just to share some of my feeling. I hope you don't mind.:exclamation:
October 14, 2007 at 7:04 pm
Loner,
Is this the job you referred to in the post several weeks ago where you said that nobody (including husband) wanted to listen any longer or did you go and find another position somewhere else in the meantime?
I don't live in the forums so I tend to miss out on a lot of the news.... 😉
A lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on mine.
October 14, 2007 at 7:24 pm
Yes, the one I got 5 out 5 performance review was the job I talked about in my other post 'I just want to do my job'.
Anyway I can't talk to my husband about anything, I am thinking to get a divorce after my kid going to college. I do not have any friend to talk about my family and work problems. At least here I hope I can talk about work. Actually I like to work, I am not a housewife kind of woman.
I use to think one of important part of the job is to have my manager recognize my work so I think a good performance is important and it also represents my job security, I guess I am wrong. An outstanding performance review did not mean my job was safe and it did not mean I liked my job either.
What I like to do is working on a challenge project, my co-workers and I can discuss about work and we can work and learn from each other. We trust and respect each other including my manager. I get job satisfaction from solving problems, helping my users or learning something new.
October 14, 2007 at 11:07 pm
I can empathise with the position that you are in as I've been in similar situations myself (not exactly the same though...) and most often I'm the other side of the coin where I'll be the one who listens and has prevented more than one suicide simply by being there (although one of them was just attention seeking so I told her that if she was going to threaten to do it again, I was going to tell her how to do it right so that she couldn't be saved and also graphically described the scene that her mother was going to find).
One thing though is that it can be just as draining for the listener as it can be for the 'victim'. Where you are concerned, I think what you need is the ability to vent. Someone to talk to without the "If I were you, I'd...." factor (as none of us really want that when we want to bend someones ear with our troubles in life).
In saying that: have you considered starting a blog? Weblog... online diary.
The kind where you can write about everything that is happening in your life via a non-de-plume so that your anonymity can be retained. It can be as personal as you like and anybody and everybody can read it. Word of advice though... wait for people to find it and don't tell friends and family and ask them to read it (unless you want to use it as a forum to talk to your husband in a third-person format. People tend to see solutions to situations better when outside the circle...).
If you're thinking of divorcing your husband: maybe it will help and maybe it will expedite that result. Tough call.
Only a few of my friends know of my blog as it is quite controversial and I tend to comment on the news, the media, and various high-profile idiots in the world. Did I happen to mention that I detest Paris Hilton? Head like a kicked-in dunny-bucket into the bargain. She could probably suck start a jet engine as well.... >:)
Anyway - it will allow you to pour out your feelings and emotions and everything that is troubling you while not being constrained about referring just to SQL Server AND, once you've vented, you often find that you feel much better for it. Call it 'personal therapy' if you will.
Yeah... my solution to everything seems to be a blog but I have been a loner for most of my life as well and I tend to push absolutely everything down and down and down until some clown makes me explode and they cop a whole heap of cruelty that they thought never existed. My writing helps me get rid of a LOT of S.O.L. (shit on the liver).
It works.
A lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on mine.
October 15, 2007 at 12:20 pm
A performance review has nothing to do with whether you like your job or not. They're not correlated. It just means you did well during that period, or you did more great things than bad.
Only you can decide what's important to you and what matters in your life. We can give advice and listen, but you have to be the judge of our advice. We don't know you, only what you write, so we can only guess as to what makes sense to say.
If life is that hard and you're struggling with work and family, I'd really recommend you talk to a good friend or go see a counselor. They'll listen and they can help you work through things better than we can. Not that we don't listen or don't want to, but we just can't be as effective as someone right in front of you.
Really stop and think about what you want from life, what's important, what's not. Re-examine your decisions and situations and try to determine what you want. It's easy to gloss over that, but in my experience, it's hard to really know what you want unless you think it over and question your own answers to your questions.
October 23, 2007 at 2:28 pm
The only link that there is between a job review and one's feelings is that you get the opportinity to state how you feel about your job - well thats how it is in the places I have worked in.
But, when given this opportunity, you must speak up and let your boss know your feelings.
That said, from other posts I have read from you, it seems those words would fall on deaf ears!
I hope you find a better position soon enough so you can concentrate on answering SQL Server related questions rather than having to discuss an awkward job situation.
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