malotype– n. a certain person who embodies all the things you like the least about yourself – a seeming caricature of your worst tendencies – which leave you feeling repulsed and fascinated in equal measure, having stumbled on a role model of exactly the kind of person you never want to be.
One of my hobbies is coaching volleyball for kids, teenagers really. This year I’ve taken on 13 year olds, and helping out with an 18 year old team as their coach is out for a few weeks. It’s been an interesting dichotomy, and I’ve now helped coach all ages from 13-18.
In the eight years I’ve been coaching, I’ve worked with, and watched a number of coaches. In that time, I’ve seen a few that are polar opposites of who I try to be. One in particular that was very good at understanding the game, knew all the rules, and recognized things to exploit in opponents.
However, this person was not good with players, in my opinion. Harsh, unapproachable, didn’t listen to concerns, didn’t provide support, belittled (my opinion) players, and demanded too much.
I can be loud, and I’ve been short with players at times. I try not to do that often, and I try hard to support them to help them grow, accepting their fallibilities while pushing them to grow and change. A number of players have said they would never want to be near that coach again and one quit a time.
I hope I never become my malotype.
From the Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows