giltwrights – n. the imaginary committee of elders that keeps a running log of your mistakes, steadily building their case that you’re secretly a fraud, a coward, a doofus, and a douche – who would’ve revoked your good fortune years ago had they not been hampered by their own bitter squabblings over proper grammar and spelling.
I have anxiety at times about the mistakes I make. I tend not to dwell for too long, but I do sometimes find myself wondering if there are others who’d find me lacking, fire me, stop being a friend, etc. if they knew how many times I’ve made mistakes.
Across my career, and across decades, I’ve learned to admit mistakes often and expect them. I’ve learned that I am frail and faulty, and I have to accept that. I also need to try to not make easily-preventable mistakes, or big ones, but accept that those might happen.
I don’t think I’m often concerned about the guiltwrights at my age, but I did feel they were watching me often in my teens and 20s.
From the Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows