justing – n. the habit of telling yourself that just one tweak could solve all your problems – if only you had the right haircut, if only you found the right group of friends, if only you made a little more money, if only he noticed you, if only she loved you back, if only you could find more time, if only you were confident – which leaves you feeling perpetually on the cusp of a better life, hanging around the top of the slide waiting for one little push.
I find a lot of people that have justing, thinking their are quick, easy solutions just out of reach. Of they focus so much on the one thing they desire, ignoring the rest of life. Or at least diminishing it.
I try hard not to have justing. In fact, lots of comedians have helped me to view the world differently. I accept where things are, I know there is chaos and struggle and other difficulties. I have to just accept and account for them, not wish things were different. Instead, I view the world as imperfect and not always here for me but still a place to appreciate and enjoy.
I can’t always get to the gym or I don’t always eat as well as I should. I accept that and work with it, not wishing it were different. I accept my faults and frailties, and I try to nudge them in better directions, knowing they will always be there.
I remind clients of this at work. There is no perfect way to build software, and you will always have some issues. You’ll always have some staff insufficiently trained, you’ll always have some people you don’t like. Work with that imperfection and don’t think about justing.
From the Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows