I started to add a daily coping tip to the SQLServerCentral newsletter and to the Community Circle, which is helping me deal with the issues in the world. I’m adding my responses for each day here.
Today’s tip is to avoid saying “I ought to” or “I should” to yourself.
My wife has reminded me of this for years, to avoid using “should” as it is a cognitive, or thinking, trap. I remember this every time I hear myself using should, either to others or to myself.
As a result, I’m working to either decide to do something, or to let it go. I might drop it on a list for later, but I’m trying hard to not say I should do something. Do it or don’t.
I’m better at this with home projects and chores. I don’t try to set myself up with an excuse. I’ll just tackle something or defer it with certainty.
I still have work to do here with my job. I have too many “I should do xx today” conversations with myself.