I was thinking about the contest that SQL Sentry is running for a week of SQLskills Immersion Training, and the only thing that came to mind were sheep.  Now don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing wrong with sheep.  Rumor has it there is a sheep’s costume floating around the SQKskills office.  But the question is… are there any unicorns?

I’m going to go out on a limb and say there isn’t.  That fact makes me believe that we can and must send a unicorn to the SQLskills Immersion Training.  Just think of what a unicorn could bring to the training.  Heck, let’s not just think about it… let’s have the unicorn tell us.

Ok, that may not seem like the the best reasons to send a unicorn to training, but let’s think about this a bit more and break down what the unicorn said.

Never Stop Believing,

- Miracles are Everywhere

Miracles?  Yeah, there are miracles in SQL Server.  Or are there?  One person’s miracle is someone else’s science.  In the Immersion Event, the unicorn will learn the science of SQL Server and bring the miracle’s of the internals to children everywhere.

N-e-e-eigh, Only Use Your Horn,

- Only When You Have To

Unicorn’s have horns, now that’s true.  And database’s have DBCC commands.  If you give the opportunity for the unicorn to learn how to properly use a DBCC command or two, then the unicorn will have to share the secrets of the horn.  By Friday, the unicorn will have a new set of skills to match to healing powers of it horn.

Go Ahead, Follow That Rainbow To Your Dreams

Unknown fact, unicorns love sheep.  No really, they do.  Haven’t you seen the unicorn outfits on Cult of Unicorn?  Those are sheep skin lederhosen.  That’s right.  But there are more that just an opportunity to get some new lederhosen.  The unicorn has always been alone and is a solitary creature, mostly teaching himself the ins and outs of databases… I mean “unicorn-dom”.  Unicorn is looking for a little lessons in how SQL Server works… crap, meant how to ride the rainbow.

Gaze On The Happy Tops of Sunlit Clouds

The IE is in Seattle and unicorn bets there will be clouds.  If not in the sky, there are plenty over at Microsoft.  When unicorn arrives, he’ll be beaming and bringing the sunshine with the opportunity to increase what he knows.  It’ll be a time of great cheer as he learns about how SQL Server collects information on data and makes statistics.  It’ll be like a Skittles are falling everywhere, especially his mouth.

Race The Wind Into Your Hearts Content

With five days and twelve modules, it will take a very attentive unicorn to make it through a week of training.  But the unicorn knows he has the strength and endurance to succeed.  If unicorn gets the chance, he’ll be attentive and take back all he learns to make the world a better place.  He will will continue to help the fairy folk, like the gnome that live in Michigan.

Okay, these may not be the best reasons to send a unicorn to SQLskills IE, but they are creative and that has to count for something.  Also, blame Josh Fennessy (Blog | @joshuafennessy) for this idea… he bought me the “Ask the Unicorn Button”.

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Original article: 5 Reasons Why I Need To Go To SQLskills Immersion Training

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