Going through one’s father’s belongings after his death is
always a poignant, bitter-sweet experience. I was going through his most
precious books a while back; there were books that were written by him, books
by friends and relatives, books about friends or relatives, books of precious
poems. There was a well-thumbed book,
Treasure Island, given to him as a boy by his devoted and adored mother. Then I came across an oddity.
It was brown, brief, almost a booklet. It was written in
1941, at the time he was an army officer on active service. It was stained on the cover, and rather
dog-eared. The Conduct of Meetings, by Cecil A Newport. I opened it up. ‘A Handbook
for the Guidance of Chairmen, Secretaries, Delegates, Councillors and all those
who attend Public, Business, and other Meetings’.
My curiosity was aroused. My father had a vast collection of
books, yet this was in his ‘holy of holies’. I leafed through it, and was
instantly gripped with a number of emotions. Here, laid out in simple language,
were instructions on how to run any sort of meeting efficiently. How many years
of my life have been wasted in meetings of various sorts where the chairman
hadn’t even the vaguest ideas about how to conduct matters? Simple techniques for shutting up bores, or
people talking off-topic. How one draws up an agenda; how to decide whether a
decision can be taken on any matter; these details were gold-dust, and I have
to admit that my father was excellent at conducting meetings and ensuring that
everything was done properly and efficiently. He was always home in time for
his early evening glass of wine too.
Developers in IT now waste a colossal proportion of their
time in completely footling and unnecessary meetings. The management who insist
on these meetings usually have hardly the dimmest idea of how to run them. This is not something that can be left to one’s
natural group processes. The members of a committee or the participants in a
business meeting are by no means predisposed to reach a sensible consensus
decision. Few people who call meetings are aware of the legal requirements
of the way that a meeting must be
conducted if its decision has any financial element to it. What is worse is that so many meetings were
entirely pointless. Anyone who has experienced the horror of an Agile Scrum, or
the equivalent in one of the other Gung-Ho methodologies, will know that
meetings are, more often than not, just ritual occasions for the aggrandizement
of the person who calls them. For heaven’s sake, any experienced developer
knows what to do without having to move sticky notes around a white-board. I’ve
achieved far more in coordinating a group of developers in the pub on Friday
afternoons than in any meeting.
Bother! I must stop. I’m on my favorite topic. I’ve been
reading the little book out loud to anyone who will listen. It is like
discovering a book that reveals the lost art of teleportation, or telekenesis. Surely, the art of conducting a
meeting is even more powerful magic. No
wonder my father had the little book by
his side throughout his life.