July 22, 2008 at 3:06 pm
Comments posted to this topic are about the item Knock, Knock…Who's There?
July 22, 2008 at 3:09 pm
I have two different responses that I thought of for this article, and I really can't choose between them.
First response:
I find this whole editorial offensive!!
Second response:
Puns!
Everybody likes puns!
You every meet anyone, you say, "let's go get some puns", they say, "nah man, I don't like no puns"?
Really can't decide which one amuses me more, so I went with both. 🙂 (Yeah, I'm easily entertained.)
- Gus "GSquared", RSVP, OODA, MAP, NMVP, FAQ, SAT, SQL, DNA, RNA, UOI, IOU, AM, PM, AD, BC, BCE, USA, UN, CF, ROFL, LOL, ETC
Property of The Thread
"Nobody knows the age of the human race, but everyone agrees it's old enough to know better." - Anon
July 22, 2008 at 10:41 pm
Select * from Lookup.Humour
July 23, 2008 at 12:23 am
I thought you will give 1 or classic examples of joke. It is good to have humor. It really ease the tension. But I saw a manager who used to crack jokes in a serious meetings. I could not digest them at that point of time.
🙂
July 23, 2008 at 12:26 am
Humor is important in the workplace especially when stress levels are running high. When last did you laugh? I mean out of your belly. Your face was sore and you stomach hurt from all the laughing. I can't remember when last I did and as the saying goes: "Laughter is the best medicine".
:-PManie Verster
Developer
Johannesburg
South Africa
I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. - Holy Bible
I am a man of fixed and unbending principles, the first of which is to be flexible at all times. - Everett Mckinley Dirkson (Well, I am trying. - Manie Verster)
July 23, 2008 at 12:40 am
Well, here's a couple of office jokes to lighten up your day!
From actual resumes:
"Personal: I'm married with 9 children. I don't require prescription drugs.
"I am extremely loyal to my present firm, so please don't let them know of my immediate availability."
"Qualifications: I am a man filled with passion and integrity, and I can act on short notice. I'm a class act and do not come cheap."
"I intentionally omitted my salary history. I've made money and lost money. I've been rich and I've been poor. I prefer being rich."
"Note: Please don't misconstrue my 14 jobs as 'job-hopping'. I have never quit a job."
"Number of dependents: 40."
"Marital Status: Often. Children: Various."
MURPHY'S LAWS ON WORK
A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the pants.
Don't be irreplaceable, if you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
The more crap you put up with, the more crap you are going to get.
You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard.
Eat one live toad the first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.
Never ask two questions in a business letter. The reply will discuss the one you are least interested in, and say nothing about the other.
When the bosses talk about improving productivity, they are never talking about themselves.
If at first you don't succeed, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it.
They are available on http://www.ahajokes.com/off12.html
:-PManie Verster
Developer
Johannesburg
South Africa
I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. - Holy Bible
I am a man of fixed and unbending principles, the first of which is to be flexible at all times. - Everett Mckinley Dirkson (Well, I am trying. - Manie Verster)
July 23, 2008 at 1:01 am
Manie Verster (7/23/2008)
From actual resumes:
"Personal: I'm married with 9 children. I don't require prescription drugs.
"I am extremely loyal to my present firm, so please don't let them know of my immediate availability."
"Qualifications: I am a man filled with passion and integrity, and I can act on short notice. I'm a class act and do not come cheap."
"I intentionally omitted my salary history. I've made money and lost money. I've been rich and I've been poor. I prefer being rich."
"Note: Please don't misconstrue my 14 jobs as 'job-hopping'. I have never quit a job."
"Number of dependents: 40."
"Marital Status: Often. Children: Various."
MURPHY'S LAWS ON WORK
A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the pants.
Don't be irreplaceable, if you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
The more crap you put up with, the more crap you are going to get.
You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard.
Eat one live toad the first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.
Never ask two questions in a business letter. The reply will discuss the one you are least interested in, and say nothing about the other.
When the bosses talk about improving productivity, they are never talking about themselves.
If at first you don't succeed, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it.
They are available on http://www.ahajokes.com/off12.html%5B/quote%5D
:w00t::hehe:;) Good ones....
July 23, 2008 at 1:47 am
I laugh at this forum on a daily basis 😀
(Work days only though). 😉
--Shaun
Hiding under a desk from SSIS Implemenation Work :crazy:
July 23, 2008 at 1:48 am
No, not the British version, the funny one shown in the US
I'm struggling desperately to make any sense of this sentence. Is it a joke, surely it can't be taken at face-value?
July 23, 2008 at 1:52 am
jeremy (7/23/2008)
No, not the British version, the funny one shown in the US
I'm struggling desperately to make any sense of this sentence. Is it a joke, surely it can't be taken at face-value?
The CUSAs* don't understand "irony" usually, but I think/hope its a joke, and it had to be watered down/remade for their networks. 😉
(*CUSA - Citizen of the United States of America - pronounced - cusser). 😀
Hiding under a desk from SSIS Implemenation Work :crazy:
July 23, 2008 at 4:31 am
Yeah, I wasn't sure about that either Steve, the American Office isn't even remotely as funny as the original. Hmmmm... I doubt you're being ironic (hint: Alanis Morissette doesn't understand irony either (yes, I know she's Canadian)), and I see you can't even spell humour. Given the evidence I'm going to have to come to the conclusion that Americans are weird, no change there then.....
Apart from the Daily Show, of course....
July 23, 2008 at 5:26 am
One of my favorite jokes:
A chicken and an egg are lying in bed together. The chicken rolls over, sits up and lights a cigarette, then says, "Well, I guess that answers that question."
Arthur Fuller
cell: 647-710-1314
Only two businesses refer to their clients as users: drug-dealing and software development.
-- Arthur Fuller
July 23, 2008 at 5:29 am
Dear SSC Veteran,
Thank you for promulgating another highly useful acronym (CUSA). How clever that it sounds like "cussa". I think that's what they call "irony", right. What a knee-slapper! Oh, the brilliant manner by which it links a word with a negative connotation to a stereotypical label! Of course, as everyone knows, all CUSAs are just a bunch of semi-comatose dunderheads incapable of perceiving the deeply intellectual subtleties of British sitcoms... ahem! What is declasse over there is the pinnacle of wit over here... Sir, you give me inspiration. How about another acronym to describe the hordes of non-citizens living here as well?
Hmm, let's see... Aliens Staying Stateside Haughtily Obviating Legal Entry. I know that's not very funny, but what do you expect from a CUSA?
July 23, 2008 at 5:57 am
Richard Gardner (7/23/2008)
Yeah, I wasn't sure about that either Steve, the American Office isn't even remotely as funny as the original. Hmmmm... I doubt you're being ironic (hint: Alanis Morissette doesn't understand irony either (yes, I know she's Canadian)), and I see you can't even spell humour. Given the evidence I'm going to have to come to the conclusion that Americans are weird, no change there then.....Apart from the Daily Show, of course....
As I said earlier, we do not all have the same sense of humour so let us not judge each other. I am South African and to me (having to do mostly) with either American or British tv programs I like something from both countries and my own country. Let's take Mr. Bean for instance, the stupidest show on earth TO ME. I deliberately put the TO ME in capitals because just because I think it's stupid does not mean it is stupid. Some American shows are also stupid to me but so what! You don't like it, skip it. Here in SA with it's great many cultures in one country, you also find what is funny to one culture is not funny to another. Chill and enjoy each other's diversity.
:-PManie Verster
Developer
Johannesburg
South Africa
I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. - Holy Bible
I am a man of fixed and unbending principles, the first of which is to be flexible at all times. - Everett Mckinley Dirkson (Well, I am trying. - Manie Verster)
July 23, 2008 at 6:09 am
A chicken walks into a bar and the waitress says "We don't serve poultry here!" The chicken replies "I don't want poultry, I want a scotch and water...".
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