First Poll for 2006
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It's Friday and the end of a hopefully short week for most of you. The holiday season is over, time for a new year, new budgets, and a new start. The New Year's Resolutions are not the poll, but this is the time that many people look at their life and try to move forward in a better direction.
So somewhat in line with that, trying to re-examine things this week's poll:
What are your favorite sayings?
They can be IT related or otherwise, but please keep it clean. A few of mine:
- I'm not as good as I once was, but I'm as good once as I ever was.
- It takes all kinds (of people) - used quite often by my wife.
- He's sweating like Mike Tyson at a spelling bee.
- Never argue with an idiot. They will just bring you down to their level and beat you with experience.
With all the signature lines I see in the forums and on emails, I'm sure many of you will post some great ones.
Steve Jones
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I have a bunch of favorites but the latest one's that I find myself using are both by Kinky Friedman, musician, novellist, and soon to be Governor of Texas:
We're all worm bait waiting to happen. It's what you do while you wait that matters.
Money can buy you a fine dog, but only love can make him wag his tail.
And then again, I might be wrong ...
David Webb -
British ex-politician Michael Heseltine, nicknamed Tarzan, once said, "I am humble enough to admit I have made mistakes, but politically astute enough to have forgotten what they are."
Quite clever, really, if you think about it.
Alan Cossey
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Good news Dad, your airbag works!
You couldn't trust him to sit the right way on a toilet seat!
Your displaying more intelligence than your hand-writing would suggest.
The most important part of a disaster recovery plan is the disaster avoidance step
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Hi Steve,
I've seen this one in someone's signature line in a newsgroup. I'd like to attribute him (or her), but I don't recall the name. Anyway, I was quite jealous when I saw it - I would have loved to have invented it myself!!
I can do it quick. I can do it cheap. I can do it good. Pick any two.
Best, Hugo
Hugo Kornelis, SQL Server/Data Platform MVP (2006-2016)
Visit my SQL Server blog: https://sqlserverfast.com/blog/
SQL Server Execution Plan Reference: https://sqlserverfast.com/epr/ -
Here's one of my favorites:
Don't look at me in that tone of voice...
E.
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One of my faves by George Best - "I spent a lot of money on booze, birds and fast cars. The rest I just squandered"
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A couple of my personal favourites
Don't pet the sweaty things and don't sweat on the petty things
&
All things being equal, fat people use more soap.
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It's hard to soar like an Eagle when you work with Turkeys
and... not really a saying but....
Far away is close at hand in the images of elsewhere
Anon.
Far away is close at hand in the images of elsewhere.
Anon. -
I was really taken with the sports commentary on TV when I first moved to America. Sayings like:
He's put the biscuit in the basket!
He's put the rock in the hole!
Trifecta!
Fantastic stuff, such enthusiasm. We're a bunch of stiffs in the UK by comparison. Well, except for that really excitable bloke whose name escapes me. Anyway...
Other favourite sayings:
Which part of 'no' don't you understand?
Listen to the words that are coming out of my mouth.
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Just to keep the start to the new year cheerful here's my favourite...
"Good Health is merely the slowest possible way of dying"
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"Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning"
"A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools." -Douglas Adams
"The question of whether computers can think is like the question of whether submarines can swim."
"A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing." - Emo Philips
"...a computer is a stupid machine with the ability to do incredibly smart things, while computer programmers are smart people with the ability to do incredibly stupid things. They are, in short, a perfect match". - Bill Bryson
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Some of my Scottish partner's gems:
If it's for ye it'll nae go by ye!
You can't educate pork!
and (usually to my teenagers)
Act your age not your (UK) shoe size!
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I have loads some not as clean as others but I will try
1) What goes around comes around.
2) You reap what you sew. (similar to above)
3) I am old enough to know better but young enough not to care.
4) You can take me anywhere once.
5) What time is beer o'clock.
6) Its a small world.
After this they get a bit on the rude side. there are however some classic AtherLeigh (Lancashire) ones.
1) Our Cat Peed up their wint (I have not got a clue but it makes me laugh every time I hear it)
2) he/she would fritten a Police Horse.
They go on and on, you cannot beat regional dialect.
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>>Well, except for that really excitable bloke whose name escapes me.<<
Chris Kamara possibly? He's fantastic... he could get excited about a short pass... "Oh wow! He just kicked the ball and it went five yards to the other player's feet, oh, I wish you could have seen it; this is what football's all about!"
Some of my favourites:
"There are two sides to every story, and they're both right."
"Laws/rules are for the obedience of fools and the guidance of wise men."
And my favourite Churchill quotes:
"Never hold discussions with the monkey when the organ grinder is in the room."
"A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on."
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