September 6, 2010 at 8:11 pm
Comments posted to this topic are about the item Talking To You Makes Me Smarter
September 7, 2010 at 4:13 am
Anyone who has read Desiderata will recognise the line "...and listen to others, even the dull and ignorant; they too have their story". It's a good summary of this article.
The article also serves as a timely reminder that listening is a hugely underrated and often ignored skill. If asked, I'm sure almost all of us would say we're part of the minority who do actually actively listen to what others say, just as we're all good drivers ( 😉 ), but it's worth turning things around. When was the last time each of us noticed someone taking an active interest in hearing what someone else had to say? For me, I have to go back days before I can remember such an instance.
Pity, really, because I agree with Andy; all the time you're listening, you're learning something (whether you like the lesson or not). However, all the time you're talking you're learning nothing.
Semper in excretia, suus solum profundum variat
September 7, 2010 at 6:24 am
I have found in my experience on the job that you have to strike a healthy balance here. If you talk shop all the time , you can become an incredible bore very quickly. On the other hand, if you sit around and shoot the breeze all day about non-working topics (and I see this alot nowadays) well you can become as useless as an elevator in an out-house. It';s knowing when to talk business and when to talk about liighter topics, and more importantly, when to just shut up and listen. Your gut tends to let you know when that is, at least it does for me. 😀
"Technology is a weird thing. It brings you great gifts with one hand, and it stabs you in the back with the other. ...:-D"
September 7, 2010 at 6:43 am
Conversation is one of the most significant components of human social evolution.
It's far more than just 'need to know' transfer of information. It's a complex interaction which involves mapping of thoughts from others minds into one's own. It's something that most people can do effortlessly and enjoyably (though there are brain conditions where certain people find conversation extremely difficult even thought they are fully intelligent otherwise. There is evidently a specific conversation component to our makup). Conversations wander in unpredictable directions and change all the participants in unpredictable ways.
It's easy to see how this was selected for and succeeded as a social strategy, an evolutionary milestone.
...
-- FORTRAN manual for Xerox Computers --
September 7, 2010 at 7:22 am
Excellent editorial. I definitely find that listening to people, and not necessarily trying to add to their point from my side, is a great source of inspiration and knowledge for me as well. I get a lot of ideas from talking to others, and hearing what they htink about various topics.
September 7, 2010 at 10:59 am
Good editorial and good observations.
I often find that just chatting with my collages is very helpful. It works both ways. Often more is accomplished in less time than formal meetings.
When we are taking on a new project one of the most helpful things is to go visit the folks that are going to be using the system. Go as a team: One chatter, and one spy. It's not an interview, we are just talking about some changes.
My wife is blind (one look at my picture explains that). There was a program called "Dialog In The Dark." Folks were blindfolded and walked through the exhibits by a blind person. At the end there was a cafe. Not only did the participant have to handle getting stuff but eating and drinking without sight. The real benefit was setting at the table with the blind guide and just talking. Powerful.
I consider these fourms as conversation. Very much akin to the conversations that I've had via 2-way radio. I key down and say something, then I let up the key and listen to you.
I think that the goal of the social media is to increase the number and forms of conversations. Just like software the goal is not always realized as envisioned.
ATBCharles Kincaid
September 7, 2010 at 11:27 am
Great article. Very provoking.
One thing that jumped out at me was that I would say that if "we are steering" the conversation we are not really listening to what the other people are saying. I have found when I think "I know best" I make more mistakes and learn less, except from the subsequent hard-knocks, than when I listen to and engage with others. Maybe that is a personal thing.
There is a delicate art to listening to the speaker and not listening to the little voice that is your opinion of the speaker or your opinion of what the speaker is saying. An art that is often shoddily treated. I include myself in that assessment.
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Livin' down on the cube farm. Left, left, then a right.
September 7, 2010 at 11:59 am
Listening is a hard skill to master, and I can't say I have mastered it. There's also an art to listening to the listener, making sure you're responsive to feedback when you're the talker, yet not losing focus on the original topic! I like the send/receive example.
September 7, 2010 at 2:12 pm
This has to do with peer reviews. As IT developers, or any other engineering field in general, we can't judge our own sanity. Also, neither can the client or end users. Only our peers can properly perform a sanity check on what we believe and what we're doing.
"Do not seek to follow in the footsteps of the wise. Instead, seek what they sought." - Matsuo Basho
September 8, 2010 at 3:06 pm
Good stuff in this editorial! This maybe the wrong place for this point but:Google reader doesn't pull the editorials into the feed...any ideas if this is on purpose?
thanks.
September 9, 2010 at 10:05 am
I agree, conversations with co-workers (even unrelated to work) can be very enlightening. There is much to learn from active conversation and even occasionally from passive conversation. Listen and learn 🙂
Jason...AKA CirqueDeSQLeil
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